Racial Profiling Concerns Dog Fernbrook Resort Freelton

Racial Profiling Concerns Dog Fernbrook Resort Freelton

 

Another early morning cross species arrest led to accusations of racial profiling in the dog ruled nation of Fernbrook Resort this week.

Miss Mew: "I am not some animal!"

“I was walking down the street minding my own business,” said Miss Mew, “when a canine patrol asked to see my license. But I didn’t have it. I had forgotten my collar at home. So they started asking me a bunch of questions and then they frisked me and found my little bag of catnip. I tried to explain that it was for my glaucoma… and that my veterinarian had prescribed it… but they wouldn’t listen.”

Canine patrol spokesman Constable Fred McGruff confirmed the incident.

Constable Fred McGruff: "You're under arrest!"

“Yeah, we arrested a… Miss Mew for walking around without tags and carrying a dime bag filled with a questionable substance,” he said before pausing to look down at some notes. “Next thing you know she starts making some wild claim about a medical condition… and starts yowling about police brutality. So they brought her back to the kennel.



Lawyer Morris the Cat: "This behaviour has to stop!"



“She was stopped because she was a feline,” accused Morris the Cat, counsel for the accused, “they had no right to stop her. Let alone search her… That’s profiling… and that’s illegal!”

 

“As this is an ongoing criminal matter before the courts we can’t comment further,” said Constable McGruff.   

"Hey, does anyone have two tens for a five?"
His Worship the Lord Mayor

 

Said the Lord Mayor of Fernbrook Resort His Worship Doc Ballard, “Listen, I love a good pussy as much as the next pup… but for her to claim that she was stopped because she was a cat is just ridiculous. Cats. Dogs. Turtles. Gerbils. Goldfish. We’re all equals. It’s the chickens that you have to watch out for. Those things are deadly deadly dangerous. You always gotta watch out for them.”

Then exactly why was Miss Mew stopped if not because she was a feline His Worship was asked.

“Because she’s one damn fine piece of – ” the Lord Mayor started to reply before an aide yanked his leash and dragged him away while shouting, “No comment!”