Isabel Parent, Tom Gush and their Magical Gourmet Mouse Feces Filled Kitchen at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

Have you ever eaten a delectable homemade dessert? Served up from the kitchen of Isabel Parent and Tom Gush? Perhaps a dessert covered in chocolate sprinkles. If you ask the local rodent population those may not have been sprinkles. 

If you catch their drift.    

Tom Gush of course is well known for his sophistic filled discourses on certain undesirable neighours. Naturally then Tom won’t mind a truthful expose concerning his home maintenance habits. And Isabel Parent, as everybody knows, also enjoys public exposure. Topless bottomless and everything in-between public exposure if you catch my drift.  

I guess the state of her mouse shit filled kitchen isn’t the only in decent thing she has a penchant for.

And the expose?

Well, Tom and Isabel moved not too long ago. And the house they moved from was found to be in quite an state of decomposition. The kitchen cupboards and drawers were chock full of mouse shit. Every single one of them. The washroom was so filled with mold and mildew that some new life forms may have developed. Not surprising because as Tom Gush and Isabel Parent were planning to move out they left all the doors and windows open – even the door to the crawlspace underneath. And they did this especially during the frequent rains and heavy downpours that blessed us. And Tom and Isabel as it turned out. They even went out of their way to break the door locks in case anyone wanted to walk in and see their handiwork.

Or perhaps help themselves to some handfuls of mouse shit.

Now I know that Megan Woodfine and their other patsies are all going to leap to Tom and Isabel’s defense. "Oh, telling the truth about Tom Gush and Isabel Parent is bullying to them!"  

Suck on it bitches. 

It’s true. 

Pictures were taken by the cleaning staff the rumour mill says. Some folks were actually unlucky enough to have viewed those pictures. Those are the same people who won't be eating from Tom and Isabel Parent’s kitchen table. Too bad their children can't say the same thing.

Perhaps Tom Gush and Isabel Parent don't have the time to clean their home because they are forced to walk around the park deceiving Fernbrook about how undesirable their neighbours are. 

Some of those deceptions revolve around how certain undesirable neighbours don’t take care of their homes. How those homes are completely filled with garbage.

But I bet Tom and Isabel never mentioned to their audiences how they had birds living in their eaves. How their outdoor light fixtures were filled with bird’s nests. How it took them eighteen months to take down some eaves trough dangling from the side of their sublet trailer. How their lot was filled with more weed than an episode of 'Weeds'. And, no doubt, Tom Gush And Isabel Parent failed to mention the unkempt state of their trailer. A trailer with a mold encrusted bathroom. A trailer with kitchen cupboards and drawers filled with mouse shit.

And it had to be mouse shit because there is just no way anyone would move out of a home and leave behind heaping piles of delicious chocolate sprinkles.

So, if Isabel Parent and Tom Gush serve you a nice tasty dish don’t forget to ask for some sprinkles… I’m sure they still have some handy. 

And for those of you who haven’t all ready drank their Kool-aid you might as well become part of the crowd. Join our resident 'Jim Jones' and ask for a cup of that as well. He'll be more than  happy to top up your glass.

Is Tom Gush Vandalizing, Harassing & Bullying Fernbrook Resort Freelton?

Is Tom Gush Vandalizing, Harassing & Bullying Fernbrook Resort Freelton?

It’s an interesting question to pose. 

A couple of weeks ago it was alleged to me that, in the late night hours and under cover of darkness, Tom Gush was seen poking around, for an extended length of  time, the vehicle of Fernbrook Resort’s most Undesirable Neighbour.

Nothing illegal about that. 

Though it does seem a tad unusual.

But a recent conversation with the Neighbour (the one who is a bastion of Undesirability) revealed the following. That a couple weeks ago, somehow the gas cap on the same vehicle Tom Gush is alleged to have been loitering around, had been broken. Not only that, one tire seemed to be missing a large quantity of air. A run to Canadian Tire proved that, once again, as this has happened before to the Undesirable Family, that someone is stealing air from the tires of their vehicles. The tire was found to be sound.

(NOTE: for those who are unaware, driving a vehicle with one or more severely underinflated tires can cause accident and even death.)

NOW, is this proof that Tom Gush vandalized a neighbour’s vehicle at Fernbrook Resort? No. It could just be coincidence that the damage occurred at the same time Tom Gush was alleged to have been skulking.

But consider this:

Previously it was alleged that Paul Woodfine had been loosening the gas cap on the vehicle of that same Undesirable Neighbour. And do you know what Paul Woodfine said when asked about this accusation. Paul Woodfine was alleged to have said, “How did they know about the gas cap?” It is alleged that Paul Woodfine did not deny the crime. I guess Paul Woodfine forgot that the camera that catches dogs dropping chocolate logs can also catch vandals vandalizing vehicles.

   

But there's more. 

Do you know who Paul Woodfine’s bestest boyfriend is in the whole of Fernbrook Resort Freelton?

Tom Gush.

In summation… the week after Paul Woodfine is alleged to have been tampering with the Undesirable Neighbour’s vehicle his bestest boyfriend Tom Gush is alleged to have been seen poking around that same vehicle AND, once again, damage has been reported to the vehicle. Damage that could lead to accident and even death.

But does all this prove that Tom Gush is vandalizing, harassing & bullying Fernbrook Resort Freelton? 

Or is it just a big coincidence?

That's for you to decide dear reader.

Is Kelsey’s Stoney Creek Employee Megan Woodfine Defending Fernbrook Resort Freelton Bullies, Vandals and Harassers?

Is Kelsey’s Stoney Creek Employee Megan Woodfine Defending Fernbrook Resort Freelton Bullies, Vandals and Harassers?

This is a question we can only ask… and that only Mrs. Woodfine will answer.

On September 4^th, 2017 Megan wrote us in respect of Fernbrook Resort Freelton story “That ‘Is a Belle Picture’ Fernbrook Resort Freelton Residents Exclaim Proudly! A story about a chicken who vandalized a Fernbrook Resort property via the use of profane graffiti. 

Megan Woodfine wrote, “Considering you don’t even have the right person who painted the finger just makes this post funny. I wish it was accurate. Instead its more of someone who is a grown adult being a bully behind a computer screen. Love it. I feel like I’m still in high school here.”

The most important thing here is the accusation that a chicken did not vandalize a property. If this is true then we will go to that chicken and apologize and beg their forgiveness. 

But before we can do that we need Fernbrook Resort resident Megan Woodfine to reveal the identity of the true vandal to the management of the park and to the police. Failure to do anything less makes her an accomplice to a criminal act. By Megan’s own admission she publicly describes herself as ‘Very Responsible’. Well than Megan do the responsible thing and turn in the vandal. Instead of protecting them. 

Now Megan Woodfine also brings up the point of bullying. That whomever wrote the story “is a grown adult being a bully behind a computer screen.” It’s hard to know how to respond to that. 

But we will.

There is an individual named Paul who has been alleged to have been telling lies about an Undesirable Neighbours. Smearing them by calling them homosexuals when they are not. 

Is that not bullying Megan Woodfine?

This same Paul one morning screamed at a gentleman named Stan to get off his property. Stan wasn’t on Paul’s property and calmly and politely told him so. But Paul kept screaming.

Is that not bullying Megan Woodfine?

Paul also spent several minutes shouting at an Undesirable Neighbour over some leaves in the road.

Is that not bullying Megan Woodfine?

When there is no snow on the ground, at 4:20 AM in the morning (approx.), Paul will regularly sneak up to a home bang on windows and doors then run away. To his truck. And drive to work.

Is that not bullying Megan Woodfine?

It is also alleged that Paul proudly admitted to repeatedly loosening the gas cap on the car of an Undesirable Neighbour. A loose cap may set off the engine light. And that’s why it is alleged that he admitted to doing this. Simply to disturb the Undesirable Neighbour.

Is that not bullying Megan Woodfine?

Paul also threatened to let the air out of the tires of a certain Unsdesirable Neighbour. But his boy toy Tom allegedly told him not to do it because people were watching the home of that same Undesirable Neighbour.   

Is that not bullying Megan Woodfine?

Paul also trespasses onto properties and goes through their personal belongings. I have seen him do this. Though I have never seen him steal anything. Yet.

But is that too not bullying Megan Woodfine?

Paul is a Fernbrook Resort Freelton neighbour who plays music and radio excessively loudly for periods as long as twenty hours. And Paul himself has admitted to doing this simply to bother the more Undesirable class of Neighbours.

Is that not bullying Megan Woodfine?

I could continue Megan but I think you and any other readers can catch the drift.

Megan, I for one am very glad that you are more than willing to speak out and try and do something about the epidemic of bullying that is overrunning our quickly crumbling trailer park society. 

So, Megan, why don’t you find this Paul and speak to him about his known and alleged acts of bullying and harassment? As you are a person who publicly describes herself as ‘Very Responsible”.

All you have to do is find him. Find Paul.

Oh, and one last question, isn’t your father’s name Paul?

Are Paul and Tom Harassing and Bullying Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s More Undesirable Neighbours?

Are Paul and Tom Bullying Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s Most Undesirable Neighbours?

Someone in Fernbrook Resort Freelton likes to play their music excessively loud for excessively long periods. Their reasoning for doing this is that the Undesirable Neighbour is making noise so that they can make noise as well. Yeah. They’re blaming someone else for their misdeeds. I’m only doing it because they did it so it’s not my fault. Very mature.

Strangely the only ones that hear the Undesirable Neighbour’s alleged noisemaking is the confirmed noisemaker themselves.

How’s that for a coincidence?

This summer Paul was heard complaining about how unkempt an extremely Undesirable Neighbour’s property always was. A mature and intelligent young lady alleged, “Perhaps if Tom wasn’t always going over there damaging things that the Undesirable Neighbour wouldn’t have to do every job twice and so would have time to tidy up.”

It has been alleged that in the early morning hours Paul trespasses onto the property’s of certain Undesirable Neighbours, bangs on doors and or windows and the scurries quickly away. This does not happen every day. But when these events have occured they usually take place between the hours of 4 and 4:30 AM. Paul leaves for work around 4:50 AM.

How’s that for a coincidence?

An unknown young man, not a resident of Fernbrook Resort Freelton, remarked to a certain young lady about an Undesirable Neighbour that “They don’t look gay.” The young lady replied that the Undesirable was not gay but that, “Tom and Paul were saying that they were gay as an excuse to harass the neighbor.”

If Tom has been making claims that the Undesirable Neighbour is gay than Tom is a liar.

If Paul has been making claims that the Undesirable Neighbour is gay than Paul is a liar.

And if they are lying about a neighbor’s sexuality as a justification to vandalize and harass than what else are they lying about?

When someone lies behind your back it’s because they’re scared of you. But when someone lies to your face it means they don’t respect you. They think that they’re smarter than you so they can say whatever they want and you won’t be able to do anything about it.

Well, I guess we all know who the smartest citizens of Fernbrook Resort Freelton are. 

Or at least who thinks they are.

One Good Old Boy's Mickey Mouse Criminal Designs for Fernbrook Resort Freelton?

One Good Old Boy's Mickey Mouse Criminal Designs for Fernbrook Resort Freelton? 

Some time ago it was alleged that a mickey mouse plan to shorten out a certain Undesirable Neighbour’s allotted time on this earth was in the works. That plan, however, did not come to fruition as a certain Family in Woodbridge issued a stern ‘hands off warning’.

The good ole boys of Fernbrook Resort Freelton seem to have forgotten that warning.

Yes, over the last several days a certain good ole boy has been loudly mouthing off non-stop about a certain Undesirable Neighbours make.

He’s been loudly complaining about an Undesirable Neighbour who was sawing. Yeah, that’s right this good ole baby has been crying the blues because neighbour undesirable sawed a piece of wood or whatever. And it disturbed him. Strangely however another neighbour blared their stereo continuously for fourteen and one half hours one recent Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning and monsieur hypocrite was quite fine with that. Nor did this good ole hypocrite complain when that same neighbour cranked up the tuneage for another six hours the very next Saturday. Not one complaint. No, this good ole crybaby’s complaint was that a neighbour sawed a piece of wood.       

Boo hoo hoo hoo.

But that’s not all. A petition that Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s biggest crybaby originated to evict neighbour undesirable was turned down. For the moment. Which gave this good ole boy something good to cry some more about.

Boo hoo hoo hoo

But that’s still not all. Nope. Allegedly this good ole boy has been discussing plans to clean out the Undesirable Neighbour’s home. A robbery. He alleged that a plan was long in place to rob a home here in Fernbrook Resort. But that crime never took place he alleged because ‘I’ had steadfastly refused to permit ‘T’ to knock off the joint. But ‘I’, Fernbrook Resort’s godfather of crime, has now given the thumbs up. It has been alleged that ‘T’ has said that they can easily pick the lock of the home. Allegedly ‘T’ wants to grab the computer in order to gain passwords etc. and erase information about incriminating acts pertaining to them published on the internet. It has also been alleged that ‘T’ said that they know that “there is money in there”. Of course there is. It was alleged that a certain ‘P’ was going to help out. And someone with the initial ‘M’ alleged that they had dibs on the ‘cast brass’ contents of the garden shed.   

As usual the plan calls for execution either in the early AM hours of a Monday morning or else in the early AM of a Thursday morning.

Not much anyone can do but sit back and wait to see if it’s simply a canard or fait accompli.

Like we said before a certain good ole boy was warned by the Family in Woodbridge to leave the Undesirable Neighbour alone. Unfortunately that certain good ole boy has forgotten that warning.

Boo hoo hoo hoo

Oh, that’s not the Undesirable Neighbour crying over being robbed. It’s the sound coming from a certain home that has a little less joy in it after receiving a reminder.

And no, this isn’t their reminder.

But it is a belle plan. It is a belle plan indeed.

Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo

In Fernbrook Resort Freelton Hell Hath No Fury Like a Rooster Scorned!

In Fernbrook Resort Freelton Hell Hath No Fury Like a Rooster Scorned!

Rhode Island Red was recently awarded the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval for the fastidious manner in which she maintained the home in which she and her kids live with the Great and Powerful Rooster. 

“Oh, that Is a belle Plan,” The Great and Powerful Rooster replied to Rhode Island Red’s suggestion, “That is a belle plan indeed!”

Not so long ago Rooster and Red lived in a tiny tiny nation called Filicophyta Stream. 

"Hey, Red, just so you know I really have been breathing!"

(Filicophyta Stream is a real place. Filicophyta Stream is not a made up place. Please don’t bother googling it and just trust me. Filicophyta Stream is real. And people live there. Chickens too! Many many chickens.)

Anyway, Rooster and Red decided to move from Filicophyta Stream to a nation more suited to the gallus domesticus species that they so proudly represent. 

“Boy I hate our landlord,” said the Great and Powerful Limp Noodle.

“Hey quit calling me limp noodle,” Ole Limpy err… I mean Rooster said to the narrator of this true tale. 

“Now like I was saying,” repeated Rooster, “I really hate our landlord. Boy and howdy I wish there was some way that we could get back at them. For being so nice to us and let us live in their once nice property lo these many years and for letting us neglect it and run it to rack and ruin.”

“Oh, but there is Limpy… err Rooster,” answered Red confidently. “Indeed their cock-a-doodly is! Cock-a-doodle doo,” Red crowed loudly, “Cock-a-doodle doo!!!!”

"Ewww... That isn't what I think it is... is it?" asked the stupid narrator.

And this is what Rhode Island Red suggested.

"Is that chocolate sprinkles or...ewww....nooo. no. no. no."

-          Any thing that we added to the home we will remove – we will give them nothing.

-          We will damage locks so they can’t secure the premises.

-          We will cause general damage that will put them out of pocket.

-          We will leave the home an absolute filthy mess.

-          We will not take care of the lot one iota.

-          We will leave all the windows open during rain and storms to encourage mould and mildew.

-          We will leave the crawl space underneath open to encourage animals to habitate.

-          We will leave food out on the floors, counters and in drawers to encourage vermin.

“In short we are going to cost them money. And to prove that we are superior to those who were so nice to us, the day we move out for good we will paint a big thank you so they know how mature and grateful we are for housing us.” 

"Thank you to our landlord! from the gallus domesticus family!

“Oh, that Is a belle Plan,” The Great and Powerful Rooster replied to Rhode Island Red’s suggestion, “That is a belle plan indeed!”

 

And that is exactly what Rhode Island Red and the not so Great and Powerful Rooster did. They left the home an absolute filthy mess from back to front and top to bottom. Inside and out. Drawers filled with mouse faeces. Cupboards coated with mouse crap. And floors… well, you get the picture.

"For the love of God make it stop. Please. Please. Please."

The landlord, however, didn’t seem to mind the vandalism and purposeful destruction and devaluation of their personal property. Nope. They were more concerned with a certain Undesirable Neighbour who lived nearby. Allegedly they complained to the Lord Mayor, the Right Honourable Doc Ballard, that the Undesirable Neighbour was hammering or sawing or something. 

Go figure.

It’s a chicken’s life.

“Ha ha, stupid narrator and stupid neighbour of immense undesirability. Red and I can do whatever we want and no one can stop us. No one.”   

“Hey,” replied the stupid narrator to the Great and Powerful Rooster, “I thought you were supposed to be holding your breath.”

“Shut up,” crowed Cock angrily.

“Yeah but…”

“Shut up shut up!” 

“A-“

“Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut!”

“Truly hell hath no fury like a chicken scorned.”

“Shut – wait, that part you can say.”

“Thank-“

“shut up!!!!!!!”