Doc Ballard the Lord Mayor of Fernbrook Resort in Freelton Ontario issued a warning to all terrorists and terrorist groups at a hastily arranged press conference late this afternoon.
“If I sniff out any terrorists around here I will not hesitate to bite the hairiest part of their bums first and ask questions later,” barked the Lord Mayor loudly in his warning. “Suck it Boko Haram. And ISIS. And you too Charlie Brown. ”
Finished with his short statement the Doc (as the mongrel Lord Mayor likes to be called) turned to leave the stage then stopped, turned once more and unexpectedly hopped back on the lectern and added, “Oh, and one other thing. Cats. If I see another cat around this place I will shave it balder than Kim Jong Un’s backside. And that goes double for that feline rights pussy Justin Timberlake. That NSYNC noise makes my damn ears bleed… hey, wait a sec, yeah…. Yeah, yeah yeah… if I catch any of terrorists around here I’ll force them to listen to that NSYNC reunion concert. Screw you Guantanamo Bay, in Fernbrook Resort when we torture people we do it right!”
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