Van Morrison Releases New Song Inspired
by Faeces Covered Fernbrook Resort Freelton
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| More turd terrorism attacks scar Fernbrook Resort Freelton |
“Having dropped out of the
music scene many years ago I recently happened across Neil Diamond’s beautiful
song inspired by a little nation called Fernbrook Resort Freelton,” said Van
Morrison. “So inspired was I that I spent a week surrounded by stinky faeces
covered lawns and roads. And every day I noticed a young red haired girl
walking one of those stupid little purse dogs. And every day it let the dog
crap wherever it wanted... she was too inconsiderate to clean up after her
creature. In fact, as she walked away, she smiled meanly every time her dog
finished its function. And I thought... what a mean little S.O.B.”
“Originally I was going to call
the song ‘Brown Eyed Girl’... but I know that some folks consider the ‘brown
eye’ to be the ass hole,” Morrison continued, “But I didn’t want to be rude and
offend people by referring to someone as an ass hole... even though there is
absolutely no doubt that someone who acts in such a manner can be legally
regarded as an asshole my lawyers told me... regardless, I rejigged the lyrics
to make them politically correct.”
“I really hope you like them...”
Red Haired Girl Lyrics
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| The Fernbrook Resort Freelton redhead | that inspired a song? |
Hey
where does your dog crap?
Don’t you feel any shame?
It was on our lawn,
Leaving a brown stain,
Then you went laughing and a running hey, hey
Skipping and a jumping (so proud)
Not cleaning up after your purse dog
Your heart a thumpin' and you
You red haired girl,
You ou ou you mean red haired girl.
Why do you do it?
Why are you so bad?
Making your dog crap on my lawn
Does it make you feel real proud?
Standing in the sunlight laughing,
Secretly being so glad... of... of,
Being a cruel girl...
What is so wrong in your world?
You red haired girl,
You ou ou you mean red haired girl.
Do you remember when your dog crapped,
Don’t you feel any shame?
It was on our lawn,
Leaving a brown stain,
Then you went laughing and a running hey, hey
Skipping and a jumping (so proud)
Not cleaning up after your purse dog
Your heart a thumpin' and you
You red haired girl,
You ou ou you mean red haired girl.
Why do you do it?
Why are you so bad?
Making your dog crap on my lawn
Does it make you feel real proud?
Standing in the sunlight laughing,
Secretly being so glad... of... of,
Being a cruel girl...
What is so wrong in your world?
You red haired girl,
You ou ou you mean red haired girl.
Do you remember when your dog crapped,
Poo
poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo pooh
Just like that
Poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo pooh
Just like that
Poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo pooh
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| "I'm so embarrassed to be a purse dog," said | purse dog Dino Givenchy |
So easy to be cruel,
To act like a secret fool.
Lately I see you most every day,
Acting in an unpleasant way,
Does it make you feel real good?
Actin’ ways only a child would.
Curbing dogs in the green grass
Really makes you look like an ass
You... you red haired girl,
You ou ou you mean red haired girl.
Do you remember when we used to sing
Poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo pooh (crapping in the green grass)
Poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo pooh (shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit)
Poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo pooh (shame shame shame shame shame...)
Poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo pooh
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