The tiny nation of Fernbrook Resort is in an uproar of Turd Pride over international accusations that they are and/or promote turd terrorism. Turd terrorism of course is the brave act of tossing dog feces onto a neighbor’s property when their back is turned.
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| Mindy Lunchbucket - typical Fernbrook Resort 'Woman in the Street' |
"Oh, I’m not a feces flinger myself… I wouldn’t dream of doing it. But do I support turd terrorism? …it depends."
Depends on what Mindy Lunchbucket was probed.
"Who’s the terrorist and who they’re terrorizing."
When asked to elaborate Lunchbucket replied that if the terrorist was a friend and he or she was terrorizing someone she did not like then it was perfectly okay. "It’s not terrorism," she said, "they just deserve it because they’re a jerk."
And what if the ‘jerk’ were to retaliate in kind… to throw feces at your feces throwing friend.
"Well that just proves that they’re a jerk. Because only a jerk would throw feces."
So the neighbor is a jerk if your friends toss feces at them and they’re a jerk if they were ever to retaliate in kind.
"Exactly… Oh, and one other thing, if the neighbor who is receiving the feces complains or makes my friends feel bad for tossing feces onto their property then they are just downright mean. And I would tell everyone in the neighborhood that they are mean… even little kids. The nerve of them… complaining like that… and embarrassing my friends and making them feel bad… you know, maybe I should take up feces flinging… teach them a lesson…"
