Thursday, August 21, 2014

Ghosts and Hauntings Found at Fernbrook Resort, Freelton Ontario

Ghosts and Hauntings Found at Fernbrook Resort, Freelton Ontario

I have been using gravity ever since I was a little kid. And quite honestly it’s great. I love it. So much so that I use it 24 hours a day seven days a week. Quite honestly it’s addictive. Once you start using it you just can’t stop. Though while I am quite familiar with gravity in no way do I consider myself an expert on the phenomena. And I say this even after having read Aristotle, Galileo and Newton. Who some less learned people wrongly attribute the invention of gravity.

Getting to the point, if you’ll remember… the handlebars on a bike were found turned up on three different occasions. And by up I mean that the brake pulls were pointed towards the sky. Nothing has happened since the third incident. Today I decided to try a little experiment.

1) Let’s assume that no one tampered with the handlebars.

This is easy to assume. But remember that I’ve had Fernbrook Resort’s neighborly neighbor’s flinging dog feces about the property and onto the roof of my 120 sq ft trailer palace. I have found questionable placing of hot cigarette butts more than once. And there are several other incidents which I have not yet written about simply because I don’t know how to assess them (i.e. coincidence or the work of chickens). But as a result of repeated unexplained problems you can see how the worst (tampering) might be the conclusion  immediately jumped to by myself.

2) And lets assume that I’m in full possession of all my faculties.

This is not easy to assume. Even by folks who know me well. So if you’re reading these posts without knowing me than, no doubt, you’re all but certain that I am secretly writing this blog on the occasions the Freelton Mental Health Center & Car Wash lets me out of my strait jacket to play with soap bubbles.

And the experiment?

I wish I had thought of this previously but what I did was to painstakingly slowly loosen the bolt on the bike handlebars. To see what would happen. Would they move? They did! When loose enough the handlebars slowly rotate counter clockwise and the brake pulls point toward the earth. Down. Which is the opposite direction to which I had found them in the loosened state. Counterclockwise and up. Nine out of ten scientists have confirmed that ‘down’ is the opposite of ‘up’ (the tenth scientist was a Canadian answering under Stephen Harper’s direction – go figure).      
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I completed the experiment six times. And each time the result was the same. The break pulls ended up pointing towards the ground. Though after much study and considerable research I think I have an answer for this weird discrepancy.

Ghosts.

That damn bike is haunted.

I mentioned previously that I was no expert on gravity. This despite having more than a passing familiarity with it. And I stand by that statement. However I am an expert on both ghosts and hauntings. Not only have I studied the award winning Ghostbusters documentary (with the irascible Bill Murray) but I’ve also reviewed the voluminous case studies of one Casper ‘the friendly ghost’ (published monthly by Harvey Periodicals) at length. So I know what I’m talking about. The bike is haunted. It has to be. There is just no other plausible explanation.

Whew, I’m glad that’s solved.

During my studies I also solved another ghostly mystery… Casper the friendly ghost? He’s really the ghost of Richie Rich. Yeah. Richie Rich’s parents probably offed the snot nosed brat for the insurance money. Just put pictures of Casper and Richie side by side. You’ll see.    

Whoa… would you look at that… it’s beautiful… sorry, I’m gonna play with some soap bubbles before the orderlies come and strap me back in.

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