That “Is a belle picture” Fernbrook
Resort Freelton Residents Exclaim proudly!
Fernbrook Resort residents confirm that this adored work of art 'Is a belle picture'. |
Residents of Fernbrook Resort Freelton
were as pleased as bowl of spiked punch at a junior prom when the latest work
of art by the nation’s leading painter, Rhode Island Red, was unveiled last
week. Previously known for decorating the country’s heavy equipment and
machinery with paint and glitter under cover of darkness this is a new direction
for the artist.
"I'm a famous artist," clucked Rhode Island Red. |
Painted on the side of a dilapidated
structure the picture has been proudly titled “Giving You the Finger Ha Ha Ha
Ha” and shows a balled up fist with only the middle finger showing, standing
straight and erect.
“I haven’t seen anything standing
straight or erect since only god knows when… truth be told I’d settle for just a finger
once in a while… how I only wish I could get a finger once in a while… even a
little one, you know… like a pinky” Rhode Island Red said wistfully referring to
her significant other, the Great and Powerful Old Wet Noodle, “but that ship
has sailed. And it’s not coming home any time soon. Nosireeeee… that boat is
gone, Whooooweee…. So, instead, I decided to give the finger to Fernbrook. It
says so much about me. And about who I am as a chicken.”
"Upon closer inspection this is not art," declared critic Arthur Critique |
Art critics however were not as impressed
with the painting.
Said Arthur Critique Fernbrook Resort
Freelton’s renowned art critic, “this looks like it was painted between the
hours of 11 AM and 12 PM on a Saturday morning by someone still heavily
influenced by alcohol after a night of hard drinking and snorting Captain
Crunch.”
"Hey kids snort a bowl of me and you can fail art class too!" |
Psychologist ‘Special’ Ed Jeung remarked
that, “clearly this was done by someone who is petty and childish. Upset that
they couldn’t have their own way they painted this as a revenge. Oneupmanship.
Then, to hide the picture’s true intent and hidden symbolism, called it art.”
“Don’t call me Art… its Arthur,”
interrupted Arthur Critique huffily.
“I wasn’t calling you ‘Art’ I was saying
that the picture wasn’t art,” replied Special Ed.
“Oh, well, that is something that we can both definitely agree on.”
“They can just kiss my ass,” replied
Rhode Island Red hopefully. “Seriously. I am not kidding. They can both kiss my
ass. At the same time. Or they can take turns. In fact if you could just slip them
my address… or perhaps give them my cell that would be fantastic. Please…
Pretty please?” she trailed off desperately.
The aforementioned work of art is to be moved indoors to Fernbrook
Resort Freelton’s world belittled “I Can’t Believe it’s an Art Gallery,”
located at the intersection of Biteme and Now.
Fernbrook Resort Freelton's 'Art Gallery' serves as a car wash Monday's through Friday's. |