Fernbrook Resort Freelton Hits Number One on United Nations Newly Created Pomposity, Arrogance Indices

Fernbrook Resort Freelton Hits Number One on United Nations Newly Created Pomposity, Arrogance Indices

The United Nation's Oh Joon
discusses Fernbrook Resort with the Press.

In an effort to show the world that some of its citizens were not being shunned, ignored or otherwise unacknowledged by the cultural and moral elite simply for not being like them, the holier than thou nation of Fernbrook Resort Freelton invited the United Nations Economic and Social President Oh Joon to revisit the land.

And Oh Joon graciously accepted the offer.

An invitation which he now regrets accepting.



A pothole snarls traffic on one of
Fernbrook Resort Freelton's
major arteries.



“Almost immediately upon disembarking from a six hour donkey ride to the transit impaired nation I was pointed towards an individual and encouraged to speak with them,” recounted Oh Joon, “which I did. And I had an enlightening and lively discussion on the economic implications of a Brexit on the European Union. And all seemed well. This nation has reformed its ill ways… and very quickly I thought.”

But all was not as it seemed.

“As well I had some conversations with the assumed ‘cultural and moral elite’,” Joon candidly confirmed using air quotes to belittle the so-called betters. “They didn’t know what Brexit was. Or the European Union. And for that matter they had never even heard of Europe. Quite honestly I suspect they still believe the earth to be flat. Anyway… when they were walking away one turned to the other and I distinctly heard her say quietly and under her breath, ‘Do you think he bought it?’”

Bought it meaning do you think we fooled him? That we’re no longer thumbing our noses at the low lifes we let into our superior nation and neighborhoods. And that we’re treating these losers as equals.

Oh Joon presides over a vote
at the United Nations

“Well,” said Oh Joon, “they did have me fooled and I did buy it. Until she asked ‘Do you think he bought it?” just seconds after departing and less than six feet away. So I didn’t have a choice. I returned immediately to the United Nations and called the General Assembly together for a discussion.

The result of that meeting was the creation of two knew indices. The Arrogance Index which measures how arrogant a nation’s citizens are and the Pomposity Index which measures the pretentiousness of a nation’s inhabitants.

Naturally a vote was held and Fernbrook Resort Freelton won each of the new categories hands down. Gaining the title of the world’s most arrogant nation and the world’s most pretentious nation to go along with their title of earth’s most immature nation. No other nation received even one vote. Or even a mention. 

Fernbrook Resort's Doc Ballard:
"Quit judging us world!"

Doc Ballard, Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s Lord Mayor had this to say about his thrice disgraced nation, “If the world would just stop judging us by our actions and believe what we say without question then I have no doubt that the world would believe exactly what we tell them to believe. So how about it world? How about closing your eyes and opening your unquestioning ears to a nation filled with folks that are much better than you?” he pleaded.

Responded Oh Joon, “I just don’t think they get it.”

North Korea's Supreme Leader sports
his nation's newest hair style - no, that's not a hat!

But it was a banner day for the nation of North Korea “Congratulations,” crowed the bad haircut wearing nation’s Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un “You win again Fernbrook Resort Freelton. At losing. Because number one at being bad isn’t winning, it’s losing. HA ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. We’re number two,” he yelled clapping his hands loudly, “We’re number two! We’re number two!”

There’s One Diller of a Busybody at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

There’s One Diller of a Busybody at Fernbrook Resort Freelton



There's nothing left to be said.



Apparently there’s one Diller of a busybody at Fernbrook Resort Freelton.

Yup.



Fernbrook Resort's Ministry for State
Security or 'Stasi' hard at work
keeping the resort safe. 



This neighbor Busybody has been keeping an eye on a certain undesirable neighbor. Recording what they place in and around their home. And what sort of noises they make (an upcoming edition of Secret of Fernbrook Resort will deal with the noise issues). But not only is this busybody keeping three eyes open… this Busybody is also asking others to do the same.

Arrogantly so.

"Guess what Hun? If we tell stories about
our neighboirs it makes us superior
to them."

Yeah, this citizen is so arrogant that they were overheard asking Neighbor X to monitor Neighbor Undesirable. All while Neighbor Undesirable was standing less than eighteen feet away. And could overhear the entire conversation. Neighbor Busybody is trying to build a case to get Neighbor Undesirable removed from Fernbrook Resort.

How Superior is that? How Pompous? How Persnickety? How arrogant is that? That they have such a high opinion of themselves and such a low opinion of the neighbor that they would work on getting the neighbor evicted while Neighbor Undesirable was in listening distance.

But you know what’s even worse?

That this Diller of a Busybody continues to play nice to Neighbor Undesirable’s face. While silently sticking numerous knives of hate in their back.

I wonder…

 



"If you're nice to a neighbor's
face then they can't get mad
when you stab them in the back -
because that would be rude!"



I wonder what could scar a person so horribly and so deeply that it would make them act in such a hideously ugly fashion. Because whatever caused these scars, these scars now run so ugly and so deep that they run straight into that person’s soul. Assuming that they even have a soul. Or even a conscience. For these scars have turned that person into a two-faced Diller of a busybody. These scars run so deep that they cause the bearer to maliciously stab someone in the back who has never done them a bit of harm. Or even sent an unkind word, or thought, in their direction. These are scars that run so deeply that they may in fact manifest themselves outwardly both in shameful actions and in appearance.

May God have mercy on their soul.

--------------------------------

You, some may wonder why a story such as this is even necessary. Time will reveal the answer to this publically accurate record.

Meanwhile, there is a war coming to Fernbrook Resort Freelton.

The side that has been patient and tolerant has had their patience and tolerance worn so thin that it has finally worn through and wore out.  



Fernbrook Resort's soon to be
new mascot needs a name!



Even if Rooster and his chicken-hearted friends were to ask for quarter, (which they would never do, pride goeth before the fall) there is none to be given. That cupboard is now bare.