Walt Disney Lied! Old Yeller is Alive & Well. And Living at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

Walt Disney Lied! Old Yeller is Alive & Well. And Living at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

File photo of Walt Disney. In background is Old Yeller's luxurious summer retreat. 

Remember that ole Walt Disney movie ‘Old Yeller’? Based on the book of the same name by Fred Gipson. At the end of the movie Old Yeller is shot. 

But Fernbrook Resort Freelton residents know this not to be true. 

The real Old Yeller sans costume and makeup

Old Yeller is alive and well. And yellering at family, neighbours and employees of the Fernbrook nation with reckless and indiscriminate abandon.

In fact just the other day Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s most undesirable and disliked citizen was out walking the nations byways and highways when Old Yeller sped by, hit the brakes, jumped out of the car and began yellering at Neighbour Undesirable. 

Old Yeller at work on the Disney set.

All I heard was five minutes plus of yellering. Yelling that was so fast and loud that I couldn’t actually make out what was being said. However being 90% deaf I am also a consummate lip reader. And I’m pretty certain that I could make out the topic of the one sided discussion. 

And the topic was the part of Neighbor Undesirable’s hair.

Fernbrook Resort Freelton's unapproved hair part

Yup, Old Yeller was yelling at neighbour undesirable about the incorrect non-Fernbrook Resort management approved part of his hair. 

The approved Fernbrook Resort hair part.

Neighbour Undesirable however not only seemed to be ignoring the appaulling behavior of Old Yeller, he also appeared to be looking at the ground and quietly smiling. Which enraged Old Yeller to such a degree that the yelling rose and rose and rose until it took the tone of a dog whistle. Or a boiling steam kettle. Finally, frustrated by the lack of response from Neighbour Undesirable, the Old Yeller ran home in tears, tail between legs, and loudly slammed the door on the mobile mansion. So sad not to be being instantly obeyed by a mere mortal and lesser person.  

But I would like to take the time to thank you Old Yeller! And other Fernbrook Resort citizens reading this should also take the time to walk up to Old Yeller and just say “Thank you Old Yeller.” Because I for one applaud this type of behavior. (It certainly beats the appalling behavior of those socially superior stone-quiet Silences and the pussy they hold prisoner.)

Truly.

Because the last thing Fernbrook Resort Freelton needs are citizens who flaunt authority and part their hair in an appalling or non-acceptable manner. We need to get rid of these types once and for all. 

And once we get rid of all the people we don’t like because they're more dumberer than we is than we can find other appalling people we don’t like. And than get rid of those people too! Until everyone is exactly the same as Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s mostest smartestest and intelligentest citizen. Old Yeller. Because hey, this tactic of societal eugenics worked for Adolph Hitler. And in the history of the world no one parted their hair in a more popular or socially acceptable fashion than der Fuehrer. And that turned out great for both Germany and the world. 

Adolph Hitler displays his parted hair to adoring German masses.

Though he was a bit of an Old Yeller too. Hitler was. Always shooting off his mouth. And just like Old Yeller he also ended up getting shot at the end.

Oh well... I guess sometimes it sucks to be an Old Yeller.

Trash Talking Ramped Up at Fernbrook Resort Freelton on Christmas Eve

Trash Talking Ramped Up at Fernbrook Resort on Christmas Eve

Taking out the trash at Fernbrook Resort

You’d think that Christmas Eve would be the one time that folks would try to be polite to others what, with Santa Claus coming to town and all that… unfortunately that wasn’t the case in the Grand Nation of Fernbrook Resort this Christmas Eve.

Nope                                                                                 

A few of the neighbors banded together to spread some Christmas gossip with some of the tourist trade. Particularly about one neighbor’s home which, according to them, is just chock full of garbage. And they made sure to point this out repeatedly throughout the evening to all the tourists traipsing through town. And of course the Horrible Boobs (read past Secretes of Fenrbrook Resort to familiarize themselves with their antics) got into the game too. Pointing out other places on the property filled with trash.

If this was a Walt Disney movie no doubt it would star Pluto (for out of this world comments), Goofy (for the silly ideas) and Mickey Mouth (for the nonstop trash talking).

An irate Mickey Mouth dissing neighbors

Walt Disney's
lovable Pluto
(pre-rabies picture)

Walt Disney's Goofy
talking out his ass

[NOTE – for those who don’t know, the actual Disney character is Mickey Mouse we used ‘Mouth’ instead of ‘Mouse’ as a shout out to our many fans and readers in the lisping community. Lith-pers, YOU ROCK!]

[NOTE TWO – trash talking is a double entendre… think about it].

Neighbor's trash pile at Fernbrook Resort

Halloween Costume? Nope - just a
neighbor finally cleaning out their home

Truthfully one of the critical does have a right to complain as, after being a Fernbrook National for twenty-five years, they finally decided to part with some of their trash. Yeah, that’s right, after twenty-five years they finally decided to clean their home. Though the refuse was so toxic that the garbage men (and women) wouldn’t touch it. As a result they had to hire some good ole boys to come in and take out a quarter century’s worth of garbage. Although I guess they ran out of garbage bags because they sure missed a steaming mound of… But wow, clean your house once every quarter century and that makes you a saint. Go figure.

And at least they keep their yard clean. Yup, every February 29^th between the hours of 2:00 and 2:05 AM they clean their yard. Whether it needs sprucing up or not. Isn’t that nice of them? I bet you wish you had neighbors like that? Now if they could just repaint that classic 1982 Lada that sits on their front lawn and that they use as a guest room they’d be the envy of the Fernbrook nation.

In fact this neighboring family is so fastidious that they even own a washing machine. They purchased it over ten years ago. Of course they haven’t actually gotten around to hooking it up to water and plugging it in yet but hey, who are we to criticize such saintly people.

In fact who are we to judge our critics at all, having less than twelve years of garbage and trash in our poor home by comparison. Perhaps in twenty-five years we’ll get the last laugh.

Merry Christmas?

A little bit late for that. But we’re certainly on our way to a Happy New Year.  

How to say Happy New Year at Fernbrook Resort Freelton?