Walt Disney Lied! Old Yeller is
Alive & Well. And Living at Fernbrook Resort Freelton
File photo of Walt Disney. In background is Old Yeller's luxurious summer retreat. |
Remember that ole Walt Disney movie ‘Old
Yeller’? Based on the book of the same name by Fred Gipson. At the end of the
movie Old Yeller is shot.
But Fernbrook Resort Freelton
residents know this not to be true.
The real Old Yeller sans costume and makeup |
Old Yeller is alive and well. And yellering
at family, neighbours and employees of the Fernbrook nation with reckless and indiscriminate
abandon.
In fact just the other day Fernbrook
Resort Freelton’s most undesirable and disliked citizen was out walking the
nations byways and highways when Old Yeller sped by, hit the brakes, jumped out
of the car and began yellering at Neighbour Undesirable.
Old Yeller at work on the Disney set. |
All I heard was five minutes plus of
yellering. Yelling that was so fast and loud that I couldn’t actually make out what was
being said. However being 90% deaf I am also a consummate lip reader. And I’m
pretty certain that I could make out the topic of the one sided discussion.
And the topic was the part of Neighbor
Undesirable’s hair.
Fernbrook Resort Freelton's unapproved hair part |
Yup, Old Yeller was yelling at neighbour
undesirable about the incorrect non-Fernbrook Resort management approved part of
his hair.
The approved Fernbrook Resort hair part. |
Neighbour Undesirable however not
only seemed to be ignoring the appaulling behavior of Old Yeller, he also
appeared to be looking at the ground and quietly smiling. Which enraged Old Yeller to
such a degree that the yelling rose and rose and rose until it took the
tone of a dog whistle. Or a boiling steam kettle. Finally, frustrated by the lack of response from Neighbour
Undesirable, the Old Yeller ran home in tears, tail between legs, and loudly slammed
the door on the mobile mansion. So sad not to be being instantly obeyed by a mere mortal and lesser
person.
Truly.
Because the last thing Fernbrook
Resort Freelton needs are citizens who flaunt authority and part their hair in
an appalling or non-acceptable manner. We need to get rid of these types once
and for all.
And once we get rid of all the
people we don’t like because they're more dumberer than we is than we can find other appalling people we don’t like. And
than get rid of those people too! Until everyone is exactly the same as Fernbrook
Resort Freelton’s mostest smartestest and intelligentest citizen. Old Yeller. Because
hey, this tactic of societal eugenics worked for Adolph Hitler. And in the
history of the world no one parted their hair in a more popular or socially
acceptable fashion than der Fuehrer. And that turned out great for both Germany and the world.
Adolph Hitler displays his parted hair to adoring German masses. |
Though he was a bit of an Old Yeller
too. Hitler was. Always shooting off his mouth. And just like Old Yeller he also ended up
getting shot at the end.
Oh well... I guess sometimes it sucks to be an
Old Yeller.
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