Cat Napping could be a Catastrophe in the making at Fernbrook Resort, Freelton

Cat Napping could be a Catastrophe in the making at Fernbrook Resort, Freelton

I don’t know the difference between a catnapping and a cat burglary. Other than for the fact that it involves the disappearance of some sort of semi-precious feline. Who would steal a cat? And what do people do with the cats that they steal? Is their some sort of secret black market where ill gotten cats are bought and sold? Maybe cats have a hidden value that makes them worth more than what poor slobs like me think that they’re worth..

I doubt I’ll ever know.

My neighbour’s cat, his name (or perhaps her name, I’m not really clear on that point) was Pétr. Short for Pétrifiée. Would sit in the same spot for hours on end. Slower than a five-toed sloth. Slower than a three-toed sloth even. Some mistook him (or her) for a stone statue. Yet blink and she (or he) would move quicker than the eye could follow.

But Pétr is gone now. For the best part of a week.

It is unproven but it has been alleged that a bad ole chicken lured innocent little Pétr into his van with a box of Tender Vittles™.

Actually he just picked Pétr up by the tail, put him in his van, and drove away, I just wanted to put in a plug for delicious Tender Vittles™ Pétr’s favorite food I am told.

Needless to say poor little Pétr hasn’t been since.

I mentioned the absence of the always present feline to my now cat-poor neighbours. Who confirmed the feline’s disappearance.

C’est la vie.

But it got me thinking. There’s a neighbour who works for the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA), he told me that when a criminal is caught with stolen property, that the CRA will reassess the individual. They add the dollar value of the stolen goods to the criminal’s income and then tax them on it. Hilarious.

Unless you’re the criminal that is.

I remember a story on the CBC (W5 I think) where the Canada Revenue Agency went after some average self-employed Canadian who had his own business. The guy was assessed a tax debt for tens of thousands of dollar. The guy took the CRA to court, and it took sixteen years… but he won. Though by then the CRA had taken away his business, his home all his assets etc. The guy had nothing. And the CRA did not have to make restitution or pay any damages for the trumped up tax debt they used to steal his life’s earnings.

That’s a catastrophe

And even if the CRA had been forced to provide restitution the guy still lost sixteen years of his life.
  
Now I’m sure that whomever took Pétr was just some good ole boy playing a joke. And that Pétr will be returned unharmed in the VERY near future.

But if Pétr is not returned?

C’est la vie.

Sometimes catastrophes happen in life.

But wouldn’t that be ironic if a catastrophe that ensued was actually induced by the theft of a cat?

Cock-a-doodle-stay tuned for the exciting conclusion to this mystery.