Fernbrook Resort Freelton Implicated in “The Interview” SONY Hacking Scandal

Fernbrook Resort Freelton Implicated in “The Interview” SONY Hacking Scandal

The tiny anti-Feline nation of Fernbrook Resort was named by North Korean leader Kim Jong Un as the real culprit behind the SONY hacks.

“Why does everyone always blame us?” sniffed a tearful Kim in his nation’s defence. “Why doesn’t anyone like us? The only country that sent us a Christmas card this year was Vatican City. And that’s not even a real country…”

Further questioning of the portly North Korean leader proved impossible as he broke down in tears and began sobbing uncontrollably, forcing his handlers to lead him away.

“Sure it was us,” boasted Fernbrook’s Lord Mayor Doc Ballard a geriatric long-haired mongrel of undetermined parentage when contacted by mental telepathy. “You really think a nation ruled by a fat guy named Kim has the cajones to pull off something like this? I bet you he’s quivering in his noodles and crying in his teacups right now. Boo hoo hoo hoo,” he growled sarcastically.

When asked what Fernbrook has against Seth Rogen’s and the now cancelled movie, ‘The Interview’ the Lord Mayor replied succintly, “Nothing man. That dude is cool.” When asked what he thought of James Franco, the movie’s other star, the Doc replied: “Like I said, Seth Rogen is cool.”

According to Fernbrook Resort insiders, the anti Feline nation believed that SONY was remaking the movie ‘That Darn Cat’. And it was this rumour that led to the hack. When the rumour proved false they decided to arrange the hack to make it look like North Korea did it.

“My bad,” replied Doc Ballard, “you can never be too careful. But let this be a message to those who would oppose us, the nation of Fernbrook Resort will not put up with pro cat sentiments and feline propaganda. Nations of the world you have been warned!” Before adding, “Hey, has anyone seen my ducky chew toy? Because it was here a second ago.”

When told that North Korea was upset over being falsely accused the Lord Mayor seemed unrepentant. “Why the crap don’t they grow up. Fine, I’ll send an apology card, a box of Kleenex and one gross of super absorbent Depend™ Undergarments. That ought to fill their traps. But if I hear one more sob from that nation of crybabies then I’m going to kick them right off the Internet.”

Editor’s note: At press time internet service to North Korea had yet to be restored.