King of Appalling Behavior Crowned at Fernbrook
Resort Freelton
The Great and Powerful Rooster has officially
crowned one of His followers as the King of Appalling Behavior of Fernbrook
Resort Freelton.
Previously the fifty-something Highness had been known
as the Earl of Mid-Life Crises. And had surrounded himself with adult toys and
teenagers to confirm his coolness and awesomeness. Proving to all that he is
not old but both youthful and to be envied by us old timers who have decided to
age in a mature and adult fashion.
The King, overawed by his title, has decided to
celebrate his crowning and prove his awesome smartitude by committing a
criminal act – a theft – that he has previously announced to the world with his
soon to be cellmate the Great and Powerful Rooster.
However one of His Queen’s is sagely counseling His
Highness otherwise.
“If they know,” she wisely advised while discussing
the impending crime, “then maybe you just should not do it your awesome
Highness of Viagara™ related activities.”
“It don’t matter dat dey know,” the King replied, “dey’s
can’t do nuttin’ ‘bout it.”
And of course His Highness is correct, if your heart
is set on committing a crime then there really is nothing that a victim can do
about it.
But perhaps all that Viagara™ is draining too much
blood from the right organ and channeling it to the wrong organ because even a
stupid victim knows that maybe while THEY can’t do anything about a crime before
it’s committed YOU can’t do anything once you’re caught. And once you’re caught
they’re going to send you to a place where, instead of being a King you’re
going to end up being your cellmate’s Queen.
Well, at least that’ll cut down on your Viagara™
related expenses.
And any of the King of Appalling Behavior’s wise subjects
may want to make an extra buck by investing in Vaseline™ and related products
as sales of this product are expected to skyrocket. Similarly, stock market analysts
are predicting a related drop in Viagara™ sales and are advising their clients to sell
their holdings and to short the stock as soon as possible.
I guess now the ball
is in His Highness’ court. At least figuratively. For the moment. Though
literally when this moment passes.
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