Is Old Yeller the Yeller Bellied Vehicle Vandal of Fernbrook Resort Freelton?

Is Old Yeller the Yeller Bellied Vehicle Vandal of Fernbrook Resort Freelton?

Fernbrook Resort Freelton Issues a Reward for notorious Vehicle Vandal

Now, for those who aren’t familiar with the lingo of the old west a yellowbelly is someone who is too afraid to face down someone, it’s only when the backside is showing that any ‘bravery’ comes out. In other words a yellowbelly is slang for a person who is without courage, fortitude, or nerve. Yeah, yellowbelly is a somewhat archaic term for a coward. 

'I'm so glad to be a Yellowbelly!"

And it seems that the number of yellowbelly’s may have just increased by one in this here neck of the woods. Meaning that there is never a dull moment in the Toothpaste Eating nation of Fernbrook Resort Freelton.

Though this dull moment may have a spot of good news – that being the revelation of one of the nation’s vehicle vandals.

Our last tale was the story of Old Yeller. The story of a neighbor who took several minutes from their busy day to yell at another neighbor over the unacceptable part in their hair. The neighbor quietly ignored the angry outburst. Strangely, just days after this encounter, the victim in this tragic tale had their vehicle vandalized.

Does this mean that Old Yeller vandalized the vehicle? Nope. It could be just a coincidence.

"A Yellowbelly means what?"

Coincidentally, just this past summer, Old Yeller had a shouting match with one of Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s finest and most upstanding citizens. The very next day that citizen’s vehicle, a golf cart, was vandalized.

Is this proof that Old Yeller vandalized that vehicle as well? Nope. It could be just a coincidence.

But it does seem awfully coincidental that folks who have had run-ins with Old Yeller… immediately after are conveniently victimized by a vandal.

So I am suggesting that Old Yeller masquerades at night under the secret identity of Yellowbelly the Fernbrook Resort Freelton Vehicle Vandal. And yellowbelly is an apt name because only a coward would attack an inanimate object. A real man would face down the object of their scorn. Settle it mano a mano.

Fisticuffs.

Strangely, several times this year, Old Yeller has been heard to remark to various Fernbrook Resort citizens that he is going to kick Neighbor Undesirable’s ass if that neighbor makes even the slightest bit of noise. And I have heard Neighbour Undesirable making noise. And Old Yeller the Yellowbelly has as well. As he has been heard remarking on the noise. Yet Yellowbelly has never followed through on his threat. 

"Great, now I gots to change my name! Thanks Old Yeller!"

So I guess the proof is in the pudding. Old Yeller is indeed a Yellowbelly. A coward. Any bravery he has rises and sets with the sun.

And I for one applaud this type of behaviour. Fernbrook Resort Freelton needs more tough talking neighbour’s who threaten others, who yell at others, and who vandalize inanimate objects because they are not man enough to face up to their wimpy neighbours or their cowardice.

So, once again, I encourage all Fernbrook Resort Freelton citizens and tourists to take the time to thank Old Yeller for the great fieldwork he’s doing in the study of adult actions, mature behavior and of course cowardice.

“Thank you Old Yeller for being a Yellow Bellied Sap Sucking Coward!” is what we should be saying when we see Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s when we see him approach. Or we could just shout it at him when we see him in the distance.

Oh, and stay tuned for more vehicle vandalism. 

Another starring role for Fernbrook Resort Freelton's most beloved Yellowbelly Old Yeller.

Which I’m sure will be coming to this fine nation on a nightly basis.