The Hypocrisy Hits the Fan at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

The Hypocrisy Hits the Fan at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

The latest fan mail comes from long time reader Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe who writes: "so that’s your idea of hypocrisy? I don’t think you know what a hypocrite is…"

Mr. Mugabe is responding in respect of TV Critics, Lawsuits and Hypocrisy at Fernbrook Resort Freelton over Mini-Series.

Let’s elaborate.

Citizens of Fernbrook Resort complain. In fact they complain so much that the number one reason for a staff member to depart Fernbrook Resort’s employ is because of the constant non-stop stream of complaints. It is very rare for a staff member to last longer than three years at Fernbrook. And those that do stay longer than three years, it’s only because they’re buried here.

But worse is what the citizens complain about. Because they don’t complain over normal things. Like the constant smell of homegrown pharmaceuticals wafting in the air. Or inebriated children driving golf carts while blind-folded. Or other serious issues. No. They have other more important things on their minds. Things like:

• the tapwater being a mite too cold
• the grass being too green
• that my neighbor has more potholes than I do
• about why everyone on Coronation Street speaks with an English accent
• and about their stool being excessively hard and a tad gritty

Yeah, the citizens of the Fernbrook nation complain over things that nothing but a good over the counter stool-softener might help.

And that, Mr Mugabe of Zimbabwe is where the hypocrisy comes in.

The citizens of Fernbrook complain over things that are more than a bit silly. And even if they weren’t silly… well the staff can’t change them. Yet complain over something that isn’t silly and something that could be changed, like the flinging of dog feces or vandalism or theft, and the citizens of Fernbrook have something else to complain about.

But they don’t join in and complain over the flinging of dog feces or vandalism or thefts.

Nope.

The folks of Fernbrook complain that you’re complaining. And they complain that such complaints are embarrassing them and the fallen Nation of Fernbrook Resort.

And that Mr Mugabe of Zimbabwe is hypocrisy.

Cock-a-doodle-don’t do as we do just do as we say.

　

PS – as honoured as we are by your presence Mr. Mugabe, perhaps you should spend more time working on solving your nation’s political and economic woes and less time surfing the internet.

TV Critics, Lawsuits and Hypocrisy at Fernbrook Resort Freelton over Mini-Series

TV Critics, Lawsuits and Hypocrisy at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

Emergency rooms right across North America were filled with injured entertainment critics who had hacked off their thumbs after viewing the so-called epic mini-series: Fernbrook Resort Freelton - History of a Canine Ruled Nation.

"Well, it’s official," stated a sober Larry King, "March 27, 2015 at 8:05 PM Eastern Standard Time entertainment officially died. May Steven Spielberg have mercy on us all."

Remarked Roger Ebert: "This is the kind of programming that makes radio so popular…"

"Well, that’s twelve hours of my life I’m not gonna get back," tweeted Abraham Lincoln about the lengthy series.

"Why won’t my eyes stop bleeding?" sobbed Stephen King.

While Jerry Seinfeld tweeted, "If I wrote something like this I’d be back behind bars."

But perhaps the Attorney General for the nation of Fernbrook Resort said it best when he threatened: "WE’RE GONNA SUE!"

Yeah, that’s right, the legal council for the great nation of Fernbrook Resort, who obtained his degree from a soggy matchbook cover he found on a street corner, is suggesting legal action against not only the producers of the mini-series but also the publication that inspired the series, ‘Secrets of Fernbrook Resort’.

"They’re making us look bad," stated the Attorney General, "and let me tell you this – we are not a people that needs any help when it comes to making ourselves look bad."

When asked exactly how the internet publication and/or the mini-series made Fernbrook Resort look bad the AG replied, "by telling the truth. Telling the world that we stand for regularly tossing dog feces at our neighbors homes. That we steal from our neighbor’s. That we vandalise our neighbor’s property. We rifle through their garages. And toss our garbage into their yards. Because it is perfectly okay to do such things… but telling the entire world that we do such things is not okay! We will not stand for this!"

The Attorney General for the beleaguered nation went on to confirm that the aggrieved citizens were circulating petitions against the alleged perpetrators of Secrets of Fernbrook Resort, in an attempt to have them evicted, in addition to undertaking legal action for slander.

Said Doc Ballard (the Lord Mayor of Fernbrook Resort) after watching the highly rated mini-series, "Agreed. The one thing Fernbrook won’t stand for is those who would dare smear our good nation’s name with the truth. It is our Dog-given right to do unto others those things that others better keep their traps shut about… or else… because we’re a nation of hypocrites."