TV Critics, Lawsuits and Hypocrisy at Fernbrook Resort Freelton over Mini-Series

TV Critics, Lawsuits and Hypocrisy at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

Emergency rooms right across North America were filled with injured entertainment critics who had hacked off their thumbs after viewing the so-called epic mini-series: Fernbrook Resort Freelton - History of a Canine Ruled Nation.

"Well, it’s official," stated a sober Larry King, "March 27, 2015 at 8:05 PM Eastern Standard Time entertainment officially died. May Steven Spielberg have mercy on us all."

Remarked Roger Ebert: "This is the kind of programming that makes radio so popular…"

"Well, that’s twelve hours of my life I’m not gonna get back," tweeted Abraham Lincoln about the lengthy series.

"Why won’t my eyes stop bleeding?" sobbed Stephen King.

While Jerry Seinfeld tweeted, "If I wrote something like this I’d be back behind bars."

But perhaps the Attorney General for the nation of Fernbrook Resort said it best when he threatened: "WE’RE GONNA SUE!"

Yeah, that’s right, the legal council for the great nation of Fernbrook Resort, who obtained his degree from a soggy matchbook cover he found on a street corner, is suggesting legal action against not only the producers of the mini-series but also the publication that inspired the series, ‘Secrets of Fernbrook Resort’.

"They’re making us look bad," stated the Attorney General, "and let me tell you this – we are not a people that needs any help when it comes to making ourselves look bad."

When asked exactly how the internet publication and/or the mini-series made Fernbrook Resort look bad the AG replied, "by telling the truth. Telling the world that we stand for regularly tossing dog feces at our neighbors homes. That we steal from our neighbor’s. That we vandalise our neighbor’s property. We rifle through their garages. And toss our garbage into their yards. Because it is perfectly okay to do such things… but telling the entire world that we do such things is not okay! We will not stand for this!"

The Attorney General for the beleaguered nation went on to confirm that the aggrieved citizens were circulating petitions against the alleged perpetrators of Secrets of Fernbrook Resort, in an attempt to have them evicted, in addition to undertaking legal action for slander.

Said Doc Ballard (the Lord Mayor of Fernbrook Resort) after watching the highly rated mini-series, "Agreed. The one thing Fernbrook won’t stand for is those who would dare smear our good nation’s name with the truth. It is our Dog-given right to do unto others those things that others better keep their traps shut about… or else… because we’re a nation of hypocrites."

Fernbrook Resort Freelton Ontario – The Epic Mini-Series of the History of a Canine Ruled Nation

Fernbrook Resort Freelton Ontario – The Epic Mini-Series of the History of a Canine Ruled Nation

The Secrets of Fernbrook Resort has received thousands of reads. And not only has its compelling narrative gained a strong following across Canada, the United States and with Justin Bieber’s legal team but the true story of a dog ruled mobile home nation increasingly under the influence of a flock of chickens has also gained a measure of popularity in France, the Ukraine, Poland and Germany. And a readership in nations as diverse as Vietnam, Nigeria, Russia, the Philippines, Romania, India and Sweden as well.

Giving rise to many kudos…

Barack Obama of the United States wrote, "What makes The Secrets of Fernbrook Resort better than the Life of Pi is that it’s true. I can’t wait to find out what happens next!!!"

Harry Potter of the United Kingdom asked: "I would much rather face Lord Voldemort than a flock of chickens… this is truly scary…"

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi of ISIS writes, "Why don’t you lay off the Justin Bieber jokes before you hurt his feelings?"

Boko Haram of Nigeria said, "These chickens are my kind of people!"

Kim Jong-un of North Korea writes, "Ha ha ha we got our Internet connection (http://fernbrookresort.blogspot.ca/2014/12/fernbrook-resort-freelton-implicated-in.html) back Fernbrook Resort. I’m going to eat your dog of a Lord Mayor on the Day of Songun our nation’s most prestigious holiday."

And questions…

Where can I find out more about the history of Fernbrook Resort? How did it get its name? Where did the ‘people’ of this tiny dog-ruled nation come from?

Well, these questions are about to be answered. Starting tomorrow an epic multi-night mini-series revealing the history of the historic Fernbrook Resort nation begins. Commented esteemed crtic Roger Ebert after watching the series, "This is a spectacle that will make the television adaptation of a James Clavell novel look like a thirty-second commercial for Rolaids."

So open up your laptops, pull up your computer chairs and crack open your dime bags for the mini series event of 2015: Fernbrook Resort Freelton Ontario - The History of the Canine Ruled Nation

NOTE - For reasons that remain unclear, Justin Bieber’s lawyers have made repeated requests that this mini-series be edited in such a manner as to obscure Mr. Bieber’s connection to Fernbrook Resort. ‘Failure to do so,’ they have warned, ‘will result in the revival of Mr. Beieber’s alleged music career.’ Yeah… well… good luck with that was our candid response.