TV Critics, Lawsuits and Hypocrisy at Fernbrook Resort Freelton
Emergency rooms right across North America were filled with injured entertainment critics who had hacked off their thumbs after viewing the so-called epic mini-series: Fernbrook Resort Freelton - History of a Canine Ruled Nation.
"Well, it’s official," stated a sober Larry King, "March 27, 2015 at 8:05 PM Eastern Standard Time entertainment officially died. May Steven Spielberg have mercy on us all."
Remarked Roger Ebert: "This is the kind of programming that makes radio so popular…"
"Well, that’s twelve hours of my life I’m not gonna get back," tweeted Abraham Lincoln about the lengthy series.
"Why won’t my eyes stop bleeding?" sobbed Stephen King.
While Jerry Seinfeld tweeted, "If I wrote something like this I’d be back behind bars."
But perhaps the Attorney General for the nation of Fernbrook Resort said it best when he threatened: "WE’RE GONNA SUE!"
Yeah, that’s right, the legal council for the great nation of Fernbrook Resort, who obtained his degree from a soggy matchbook cover he found on a street corner, is suggesting legal action against not only the producers of the mini-series but also the publication that inspired the series, ‘Secrets of Fernbrook Resort’.
"They’re making us look bad," stated the Attorney General, "and let me tell you this – we are not a people that needs any help when it comes to making ourselves look bad."
When asked exactly how the internet publication and/or the mini-series made Fernbrook Resort look bad the AG replied, "by telling the truth. Telling the world that we stand for regularly tossing dog feces at our neighbors homes. That we steal from our neighbor’s. That we vandalise our neighbor’s property. We rifle through their garages. And toss our garbage into their yards. Because it is perfectly okay to do such things… but telling the entire world that we do such things is not okay! We will not stand for this!"
The Attorney General for the beleaguered nation went on to confirm that the aggrieved citizens were circulating petitions against the alleged perpetrators of Secrets of Fernbrook Resort, in an attempt to have them evicted, in addition to undertaking legal action for slander.
Said Doc Ballard (the Lord Mayor of Fernbrook Resort) after watching the highly rated mini-series, "Agreed. The one thing Fernbrook won’t stand for is those who would dare smear our good nation’s name with the truth. It is our Dog-given right to do unto others those things that others better keep their traps shut about… or else… because we’re a nation of hypocrites."
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