The Great and Powerful Rooster Returns to Fernbrook
Resort Freelton?
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| "The Great and Powerful Rooster is a night active day resting bird," confirms Marlin Perkins, "that avoids snow because of its sissy nature." |
“I wasn’t never even gone you sillybilly,” yawned the
Great and Powerful Rooster, “I was just hibernating. I learned how to hibernate
by watching Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom with your host Marlin Perkins.”
“Really. You
really hibernate? Or are you just afraid that your footsteps in the snow will
identify you and lead the Fernbrook Resort 5-0 to your coop?”
“Hibernating,” replied Rooster. “All chickens
hibernate during the winter. Just like all the other birds hibernate during the
winter. That’s why you never see any birds in the winter around Fernbrook Resort.
Turkeys. Penguins. Lions. Because we’re all hibernating. It’s a veterinarian approved
fact.”
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| Perkins and Fowler's discuss the video taping of Rooster's latest antics. |
“Really. So
its not you playing all those petty, stupid and childish pranks between
snowfalls? When the snow is shoveled or has melted temporarily away?”
“Nopey. Mopey,” Rooster smiled. “It must be some
other chicken… I mean it must be someone else. That’s what I really meant.”
“Was that a Freudian slip?”
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| "I dizagree," zeys Zigmund Freud, " I zink zis Roozter doez made diz zlip." |
“No. I don’t fall when I’m doing my petty, stupid
and childish pranks. I prefer to run around randomly while quietly clucking.”
“Doesn’t performing petty, stupid and childish
pranks indicate that you may be petty, stupid and childish?”
“No, no, not at all,” smiled Rooster beak-ily. “When
others perform petty, stupid and
childish pranks it proves that they’re petty, stupid and childish. And that
means that I’m smarter than they are. However when I perform petty, stupid and childish pranks it proves that I’m
smarter than everyone else. Because I get away with it. I am Great and Powerful
after all…. I am Great and Powerful.”
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| "I am Great and Powerful," the Great and Powerful Rooster crows. |
“Well if people forget that I’m sure you’ll remind
them.”
‘Yes. Yes I will. Oh, and one other thing. I’m still
holding my breath. And I’m going to continue holding my breath until I get a
song written about me. And if someone doesn’t do it soon I am going to get even
more Greater and even more Powerfuller. So much more Greater and Powerfuller
that Neighbor Undesirable will have to be evicted just to make room for my giant
oversized waffle.”
“Your giant oversized waffle?”
“Yes. My egg-o.”
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| That's no ego! It's a Fernbrook Resort management approved safety waffle |
“ummm… I think that’s pronounced e-go.”
“Shut up.”
“sorry… ?”
“SHUT UP. Or I’ll hold my breath even morer.”
“Hold your breath even more-r? I don’t think you’ve
been holding your breath at all. Or hibernating. You’re just chicken.”
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| "Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up" |
“Shut up.”
“You’re still
breathing!”
“Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up
shut up shut up – ”
“If you’re not breathing than…”
“ – Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up
shut up shut up – ”
“… how come you keep talking?”
“ – Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up
shut up shut up shut up shut…”
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| The Great and Powerful Rooster's tough talking mid life crisis minion says, "I really like that cock," he said speaking fondly of the Great and Powerful Rooster, "And when that cock calls I immediately start coming. I rush right over to His coop. To see how I can personally serve Him. Its always an affair to remember," he sighed softly. |
