Cigarette Butt Season Opens at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

Cigarette Butt Season Opens at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

"Welcome all smokers, butt-tossers and survivors of ring worm disease," announced Fernbrook Resort’s Lord Mayor Doc Ballard before cutting the ceremonial ribbon to start the season’s festivities, "I now announce Cigarette Butt season to be officially open… smoke’m if you got’em" he yapped loudly to an appreciative crowd.

 
Twelve minutes after the opening announcement the ground was knee-deep with half smoked and still smoking cigarette butts.

 









 
Cigarette Butt season, which runs from the first week of April until the first snow, is an annual tradition dating back to the region’s earliest inhabitants known as the Mefirsts. The Mefirsts are a subset of the smoking population who believed that smoking excepted them from common courtesy. Giving them the right to toss their butts wherever they so choose. Public thoroughfares, parks and the always popular lawn (though never their own, only their neighbors). And so today, littering the ground with cigarette butts is a hallowed tradition at Fernbrook Resort.

Some of the season’s more popular events include:

• The Festival of Lighting Up
• The Smoke Ring Gala
• Nicotinefest
• Smoker’s Pride Week
• Día de los Muertos

Best of all, at Fernbrook Resort you don’t need a special event or a good excuse to litter. If someone should catch you in the act just quickly identify yourself with a smile and the ready excuse: "It’s okay, I’m a smoker!" and you’re immediately above reproach.

Said Fernbrook Resort Mayor Doc Ballard when questioned about the wisdom of an economy partially based on ignoring the defiling of nature, "The environment? Why would anyone be worried about the environment, they’re always making more of that."

So smoke’m if you got’em indeed!