In a stunning upset Realtor Royal LePage won the right to represent the Feces-Town district in the ClubHouse of Commons after the recent Fernbrook Resort by-election.
The Lord Mayor of Fernbrook Resort, Doc Ballard, a long haired mongrel of undetermined parentage, upon hearing of the election’s results, while disappointed that his party did not win, took some solace in the fact that the winning candidate did not appear to be pro-feline. "I hate cats. And I can’t stand Millgrove. Screw you Millgrove, we’re coming for you!" he growled to the press.
The seat was left vacant when the thirty-two year incumbent, a man left cataleptic after a 1983 car accident, quit as a result of Pope Francis’ very public criticisms of the canine ruled nation (http://fernbrookresort.blogspot.ca/2014/12/pope-francis-conducts-boxing-day-sermon.html) and Feces-Town (http://fernbrookresort.blogspot.ca/2015/04/pope-francis-asks-chickens-to-end.html) in particular.
When asked to further elaborate on the reasons behind his decision to resign the comatose individual replied, " . ? . !"
While the victor on the night, Royal LePage, was just as surprised by his win as everyone else.
"To be honest I wasn’t even running in the election. I was just trying to sell a few properties." he candidly admitted to the press.
When asked what his plans were for the seat LePage answered forthrightly, "I’ll do a quick reno and then flip it for a 15-20% profit."
Spoken like a true politician.
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