Saturday, March 28, 2015

Instigation - The Proud Political Legacy of Fernbrook Resort Freelton - The exciting miniseries comes to its conclusion!

Instigation - The Proud Political Legacy of Fernbrook Resort Freelton

The tiny nation of Fernbrook Resort has not always been under canine control. Prior to the election of Doc Ballard, (http://fernbrookresort.blogspot.ca/2014/11/dog-elected-lord-mayor-of-fernbrook.html) a geriatric long-haired mongrel of undetermined parentage being elected to the top post in the land – Lord Mayor – the tiny but feisty anti-Feline nation had been ruled by a weathered piece of plywood purchased at Beaver Lumber in 1983. Other notable Lord Mayors of the last half century include a bowl of half eaten pork and beans (which mysteriously disappeared), a rolled up length of shag carpet and that orangutan from the Clint Eastwood movies (who was alleged but never proven, to have been involved in the disappearance of that same half eaten bowl of pork and beans).

Fernbrook Resort has never been pegged as a Pacifist nation. Neither has it been a considered a Belligerent nation. And though it refused to become a member of the United Nations it is not considered a Neutral. No, the Nation of Fernbrook Resort is the lone occupant of a class of unique nation known as the Instigator. Seemingly and innocently sowing seeds of discord than fading into the background and watching as opposing parties spill each other’s blood.

Historians attribute some of the following events to Fernbrook Resort:

The Rise of Napoleon

- it a known fact that it was a humiliating series of letters, mocking Napoleon’s vertical challenges and his love of Pepsi, that incited the little man’s rage and caused him to war on Europe. Though King George of England was blamed for the missives it has recently been proven that the letters were postmarked from what is now Fernbrook Resort.

Joseph Stalin

- while a young Stalin was studying for the priesthood at the Tiflis Theological Seminary a ‘classmate’ hailing from Fernbrook Resort advised him that perhaps Stalin could save more lives if he accepted marxism as the guiding light in his life. This ‘acceptance’ led to the downfall of the Russian monarchy, tens of millions of deaths and one extremely cold war.

Marisa Tomei’s Oscar Win

- the surprise ‘win’, alleged by some to be a result of ballot box stuffing by the accounting firm of Fernbrook, Resort & Freelton, led to a decline in the making of serious movies and the rise of the comic book being accepted as sophisticated entertainment.

The SONY Interview Hack Scandal

- the Lord Mayor of Fernbrook Resort freely admitted to hacking SONY in an attempt to stop a remake of ‘That Darn Cat’. The incursion was originally blamed on North Korea and is thought to be one of the underlying causes of World War III scheduled for later this century.
(http://fernbrookresort.blogspot.ca/2014/12/fernbrook-resort-freelton-implicated-in.html)

As well Fernbrook Resort is thought to be involved with the new Coke scandal (though this has yet to be proven) that decimated the soda industry and led to a rise in popularity of Energy Boosting drinks such as Red Bull.

Clearly the damage caused by this instigator nation is considerable. As a result of these incidents most nations of the world avoid crossing swords with Fernbrook Resort.

And that, is the story of the History of Fernbrook Resort Freelton Ontario!

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