Parsley, Crouton and Other Industry of Fernbrook Resort Freelton Ontario - the saga continues

Parsley, Crouton and Other Industry of Fernbrook Resort Freelton Ontario - the saga continues

The land around Fernbrook Resort is extremely fertile. Clouds of blackflies roam across the landscape, poison ivy grows taller than cedars and potholes proliferate faster than weeds. However blackflies, poison ivy, potholes (as well as chickens) are all protected species under the Four Seasons Naturalist Act of 1968 and so they did not take any part in the economic development of the nation.

No, in its earliest years the nation relied on the Salad Industry as the mortar for the building blocks of its economy. And from its very earliest days the chief export of the nation was croutons. The underlying land ran rich with veins of pure salad-grade croutons and as a result the landscape was dotted with numerous high yield crouton mines. It is estimated that over 100 million tons of crouton were exported from Fernbrook Resort to the rest of the world prior to the Second World War.

Complimenting the crouton business was the export of parsley for the Garnish Industry. In the early twentieth century every bowl of soup and plate of food was classed up with a sprig of parsley. And more often than not that parsley was grown at Fernbrook Resort. Thick hedges of parsley ran ‘as far as the eye could see’ some of the old timers will tell you. And there was always a willing buyer for premium grade Fernbrook.

Unfortunately, following the Second World War, both of these industry went into serious decline. With the primary culprit being fast food. Fast Foodies generally eschew healthy foods like salads and formal sit down dinners, the primary use for croutons. And parsley, a delicious decorative element in traditional dining milieus is rarely found beside the always popular greasy burger or bowl of poutine. By the middle of the 1960’s fast food outlets were to be found on just about every street corner. As a result the prices of both crouton and parsley plummeted. And by 1970 you couldn’t give away a sprig or a crumb of either. Except at Halloween or Bat Mitzvahs for vegetarians.

It wasn’t until the late 1990’s, coincidental with the rise of the internet, that Fernbrook Resort was able to shake off its economic doldrums. Fernbrook became a pioneer in the profitable niche industry of rumour fabrication. And the sub population of Gallus domesticus proved especially adept not only in the creation of unsubstantiated factoids but in the distribution of same. So much so that Pope Francis visited the tiny nation and gave a sermon on that very subject: http://fernbrookresort.blogspot.ca/2014/12/pope-francis-conducts-boxing-day-sermon.html .

Today the nation of Fernbrook Resort is capable of manufacturing and selling gossip suitable for any occasion. From Hollywood entertainment rags and political innuendoes, to doomsday scenarios or media blurbs, to simple backyard over the fence ‘did you hear’ campaigns. So successful has the industry been that it has raised the GDP of the nation to the salad days of pre World War Two. As a result, today, the tiny nation of Fernbrook Resort is ranked number one in world for the creation and dissemination of trade gossip.