Chickens Launch Surprise Vandalism Attack at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

Chickens Launch Surprise Vandalism Attack at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

In a late evening assault a small band of determined chickens trespassed onto a property and ripped a bird feeder from its perch on a tree. Trampling some flowers in the process. They did such a commendable job that not only did the feeder come down but also the hardware holding the feeder was ripped out along with a substantial portion of bark and sap that had adhered to the long standing construction.

“Wow. What a brave move by these chickens,” stated a shocked Colonel Harland T Sanders leader of the anti-chicken forces. “Attacking an inanimate object in the dead of night shows that these birds are not only brave but of above average intelligence… and certainly not the cowards that I thought them to be.”

"If bird feeders aren't safe then how
long will it be before the chickens go
after wind chimes and lawn gnomes,"
lamented Colonel Sanders.

But a nearby bird called out ‘Foul!’ upon hearing the Colonel’s comments.

“It wasn’t chickens that did this,” cawed Napoleon Bonapartridge, “It was humans that take on the characteristics of a chicken once the sun sets.”

Finchton Churchill: "Stupid humans!"

“Yeah,” agreed Finchton Churchill. “It was stupid humans. I am so tired of humans blaming everything that goes wrong in Fernbrook Resort Freelton on dogs and birds and whales and hippos whatever other animal comes down the pipeline. I’d like to see one you stupid human meatsacks accuse me to beak! I’d peck their eyes out and…”

Napoleon Bonapartridge official spokesbird
for the avians of Fernbrook Resort. 

“Easy there Winnie, easy now,” interrupted Bonapartridge. “Humans are a lower class of animal. A class that throws the faeces of other species, that gossip, that vandalize… you get the idea. They engage in behaviours that animals of higher orders would never even consider.”

“Yeah, I know,” agreed a slightly calmer Churchill. “But when will they ever mature?”

“What a world this would be,” added Edgar Allan Crowe, “if humans could act like a mature species instead of like a bunch of immature chicks. Then civility and order would rule among all the species. Except for possums of course.”

"When will those meatsacks grow up?"
asked a debonair Edgar Allan Crowe. 

“Stupid pouch carrying possums… why the hell don’t they go back to Australia and hang out with all the other stupid marsupials,” squawked Churchill as he began to get agitated once more.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, now that’s specist talk, said Bonapartridge, “Don’t lower yourself to the level of a silly human meatsack and their classist we’re better than you system that only allow you to communicate with those of your own perceived standing.”

“Yeah… you’re right again. But if they continue to blame birds for their behaviour then I’m getting a lawyer,” countered Crowe.

“Now you’re the one starting to sound like a stupid human meatsack,” countered Churchill. “Settling their silly problems with unnecessary time and expense when a good old fashioned melee would clear the air and establish a proper social order.” 

“Maybe those humans really are chickens…”

“Ha ha ha ha ha,” they all laughed together.

"These stupid birds are going to cost me business," meowed
Law Cat, "maybe I should sue them..."