United Nations Accepts Declaration of War Against the Chickens of Fernbrook Resort Freelton

United Nations Accepts Declaration of War Against the Chickens of Fernbrook Resort Freelton



Come and read a funny story about the great and powerful rooster
a cowardly little chicken who flung faeces...
(sung to the Beverly Hillbillies tune)



Peter Thomson: "Why the hell hasn't
Kelloggs come up with a breakfast
cereal with a chicken flavoring?"

 It is now official, the United Nations has accepted a declaration of war against all chickens and chickenkind located on or around the environs of Fernbrook Resort Freelton.

Once upon a time Fernbrook Resort Freelton was one of earth’s most well-respected nations. But in recent times the faeces flinging state has fallen out of favour. Thefts, vandalism, questionable social antics and the rise of turd terrorism have made Fernbrook Resort Freelton the pariah state of the western hemisphere.

Peter Thomson, soon to be president of the seventy-first UN General Assembly had this to say, “personally I love chicken. I would eat it three times a day if I could. But no one’s ever come up with a chicken flavored breakfast cereal. Isn’t that a great idea… a chicken flavored breakfast cereal… hmmmph.” Then after a long pause he added, “Anyway when I saw this war declaration thingy come across my desk I figured I love chicken… just not that kind of chicken. So it’s fine and jim dandy with me if their numbers get culled.”

Pope Francis and friends share a
laugh over a roast chicken meal.

Pope Francis was playing hopscotch behind the Vatican with some Cardinals when informed about the war and Peter Thomson’s comments.

“A chicken flavoured cereal… what a great idea. Who wouldn’t like some chicken for breakfast… I can’t believe someone hasn’t thought of that before.  Huh. Anyway, personally, I don’t like war… but as long as all the indulgences are paid up I figure what the hell… sorry I meant to say heck. But there better not be any hitting below the belt. Though then when you think about it chickens don’t have anything below the belt. Roosters either. Ha ha ha ha ha. I think God will forgive me for that low blow but I couldn’t resist. Nothing below the belt. Ha ha ha ha ha. Mom was right, I should have gone into comedy.”

Colonel Harland T Sanders will be leading the war against the chickens and his unique strategy involves using a batter, several secret herbs and spices and ovens preset to 350 degrees Fahrenheit for approximately 45 minutes.

"And don't forget to try our
chicken poutine!"

“We’re going to feast on these suckers, it’ll be a finger lickin’ good time,” Colonel Sanders predicted. “And for a limited time only we’re giving free refills on pop and a Colonel Sanders bank for the kids. Remember kids, another penny saved is another penny earned, that’s a lesson I was mighty young to learn.”  

The United Nations and Kentucky Fried Chicken have issued a joint statement asking all spectators to bring plenty of fries, soup and salad as they expect this battle to be both entertaining anmd delicious.

The leader of the chickens the great and powerful rooster was asked to comment on the situation and he replied, “ur ur ur ur urrrrrrh!” before running away like a chicken with its head cut off.

File photo of a young Private Harland (Harry) Sanders during the fast food wars of the 1970's.