Grexit: Fernbrook Resort Freelton to Apply for Admission to European Union (EU)

Grexit: Fernbrook Resort Freelton to Apply for Admission to European Union (EU)

Doc Ballard, Lord Mayor of the trouble-making nation of Fernbrook Resort announced that his nation would be applying for admission to the European Union or EU.

His Worship, Doc Ballard

Though it was pointed out to His Worship that the EU gives membership preference to nations that are actually physically located in Europe this did not seem to deter the Lord Mayor.

Laughed Doc Ballard, "How could they turn us down? I mean if they allow a nation called Greece to join… What… Do we have to change our name to Lard? Or perhaps they prefer something fancy like Mayonnaise?"

Then the Mayor mocked the EU by using a smooth 1930’s travelogue voice while intoning, "the tiny nation of Mayonnaise, with its stately capital of Hellmann’s, is located high atop a rocky escarpment. Feted for annual traditions that include the flinging of feces and the whacking of cats citizens dress in a variety of colourful…" he trailed off laughing again.

Fernbrook Resort Freelton displays its wealth

"Besides," Ballard said returning to his normal voice, "After checking my dryer for loose change I’ve determined that Fernbrook Resort is now more fiscally sound than the poorly-lubricated nation of Greece," the Lord Mayor yipped shrilly, "so how can they possibly say no."

And if the European union were still to say NO to the Grand Nation of Fernbrook Resort?

Premium Grade Salad Croutons from
a Fernbrook Resort mine.

"Then let them be warned that we shall cut their supply of salad grade croutons."

Fernbrook Resort of course is renowned for their low yield yet high quality crouton mines.


"We shall not be defied," the Lord Mayor barked even more shrilly, "Europe, you have been warned. Insult us and you will make our list. Just like Philadelphia. And Millgrove. Screw you Millgrove," the Lord Mayor barked again, "We’re coming for you!"