JULY: National Feces Flinging & Sh*t Slinging Month at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

JULY: National Feces Flinging & Sh*t Slinging Month at Fernbrook Resort Freelton

Wrote John:

"Didn’t I see you with him in the garden?
Again she denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow."

July is Fernbrook Resort’s favorite month of the year. Why? Because it’s the month when citizens, under cover of darkness (or when no one is looking) place dog feces under decks, fling feces over garden fences and sling sh*t onto neighbor’s sidewalks.

Remarked Adolph Monkeybottom, "this isn’t the kind of behaviour you see in civilized nations… it’s a purely Fernbrook tradition… and a tradition we’re glad to perpetuate."

Irmabella Boobaloo : Feces tossing equals bravery

Irmabella Boobaloo said loftily, "When my man tells me he tossed feces onto a neighbor’s property when they weren’t looking it makes me feel so proud. Not all men have the cajones to toss feces behind a turned back. It takes an especially brave man to solve a problem this way."

Howso?


"Well… if you’re mad at your neighbor and you’re too much of a coward to tell them what they’ve done to upset you… you can just toss feces onto their property. Then they’ll know exactly what the cause of the dispute is and the problem will be resolved. It never fails. It’s how all mature intelligent adults at Fernbrook Resort solve their problems."

Candy-Lou Whoo - a great example for the our kids

"Oh, no doubt" added Candy-Lou Whoo, "and this slinging of sh*t is a great example for our children to emulate."






"But of course," chirped Raphael Crowsfeet, "If the people of other nations would look to Fernbrook Resort and watch the way we fling feces there would be less crime. Disputes would be a thing of the past. The earth would be a better place."

Raphael Crowsfeet - look to Fernbrook Resort

Harold Bearclaw curator of Fernbrook Resort’s Sh*t and Feces Repository

Finished Harold Bearclaw curator of Fernbrook Resort’s Sh*t and Feces Repository, "We encourage all our nation’s citizens to get out there, have a bit of fun and fling a bit of feces onto their neighbor’s property. OHHHH, and one other thing… don’t fling any crap on to my property because only a pair of horrible boobs would dare to toss feces on my property."