Fernbrook Resort Freelton Citizens Respond to United Nations Immaturity Index Vote Results

Fernbrook Resort Freelton Citizens Respond to United Nations Immaturity Index Vote Results



"Fernbrook Resort doesn't want you!"
confirms a famous poster found across the nation.  



In a recent vote held by the United Nations Economic and Social Council the crybaby rich nation of Fernbrook Resort Freelton was voted earth’s most adolescent nation on the UN’s Immaturity Index.

Wondering how the nation’s citizens might react to receiving such a deserving title Secrets of Fernbrook resort went undercover to capture the mood of the nation.

Mindy McSnobbington: "Books are for
people too lazy to watch television."

Announced Mindy McSnobbington, “In a democratic society not only should we be able to drive on whichever side of the road we want whenever we want… we should also be able to choose with who we associate with or even who lives in our country.”

“Yeah,” agreed Tad Uppercrust the Third, “and we don’t want to have to see, talk to or associate with certain types of people.”

And what types of people might those be?

“People who refuse to indulge in small minded, petty or mean-spirited gossip,” answered Buffy Pompous-Persnickety. “I mean without gossip how can we prove who we’re better than?”

"My name confirms that I'm better than you are," states Chad Superior

“Yeah,” sympathized Chad Superior, “We’d just all be the same. And besides that, these people have been reading books. Lots of them. Instead of indulging in endless rounds of backstabbing untruths.” 

“Books?” what are those interrupted McSnobbington.

“Books… oh… you know… they’re like magazines but they have no pictures. Just pages filled with those black symbols,” answered Uppercrust.

“Ewww,” squealed Pompous-Persnickety, “I was given a book once but I cut my hand on one of the paper sheets inside. So I went to the hosipital to ask for a cast. But they told me to use some Bactine™ instead… I don’t even know what that is… I mean like I never went to doctoring school.”

Tad Uppercrust III: "Isn' it just about
time for Hee Haw?"

“But it’s more than just reading books,” noted Tad Uppercrust trying to put the topic back on track, “these people also do other things that are beneath us… things that people residing in a trailer park filled with their social and economic betters just should not do. These undesirables work on improving their homes… they refuse to walk around the park in the middle of the afternoon wearing their pajamas… they don’t watch reruns of the hit television series Hee-Haw®… I mean the list just goes on and on. Why should we have to put up with people like that?”

"Aren't books those things that cause diseases?"
asked Buffy Pompous-Persnickety

“We shouldn’t,” interjected Chad Superior, “that’s why if we all stand together we can get rid of these lowlifes and keep to the high moral standards that we have worked so long to build and maintain in Fernbrook Resort.”

Standards that keep out or else force out those unwilling to stoop to their low-life tactics and disingenuous behaviours.  

“Exactly,” chimed the foursome together, “that’s exactly the kind of people that we want in Fernbrook Resort Freelton. People who are every bit as disingenuous as we are.”

“Ummm,” asked Buffy Pompous-Persnickety, “does anyone know disingenuous means?”