Penny Pinching at Fernbrook Resort Freelton Results in Record Breaking Profits For Nation’s Treasury

Penny Pinching at Fernbrook Resort Freelton Results in Record Breaking Profits For Nation’s Treasury



It's record profits for the national treasury
of the tiny state of Fernbrook Resort



The International Monetary Fund was shocked today when the cash strapped nation of Fernbrook Resort Freelton, instead of hitting them up for a loan, announced that the nation’s treasury was finally in the black.



IMF: "Our Lending policies
bankrupt many nations" 

IMF president Sir Nestor Chargeback said, “we had an office pool going and not one person picked solvency for Fernbrook Resort, so that sucks. But I’ve got the Province of Ontario declaring bankruptcy in 2018 so maybe I can get my money back there.”

 

Sir Chargeback, "How the hell did they do it?



Treasurer for Fernbrook Resort, Scrooge McDuck explained to a disappointed world how the nation was able to avoid ruin:

“It wasn’t tough, our investment in pothole infrastructure attracted tourists from all over the world, cutting off the electricity to the pavilion for absolutely no reason but to piss residents proved a boon, refusing to fix leaking pipes in our nation’s capital, Clubhouse City, saved yet more, refusing to heat the outdoor pool was a plus, turning down the heat in the winter in Clubhouse City allowing the pipes to burst saved yet more... but the thing that put us in the black was that some of the pool monitoring equipment was not functioning as it should.

Says Scrooge McDuck, "We're in the money,
we're in the money..."

     As a result employees, 3 or 4 times a week, spent 3 to 8 hours a week cleaning and repairing the equipment (time spent depends on the number of times  a week needed to complete the job multiplied by the number of hours necessary).

     Replacing the malfunctioning part would cost approximately $750. So if the cost of staff is $15 per hour and they spend an average of 5 hours a week attending to the part - that’s not only $75 a week but also time (5 hours) taken away from other tasks that could be completed.

     But aren’t.

     In 10 weeks $750 is being spent in order to save $750 AND over one full week of work time was lost – 50 hours.

     In the course of one year you could not only could we have purchased the replacement part but also 4 extras. AND we could have freed up approximately 260 hours of employee time. 260 hours equals 6 and one half weeks PLUS accumulated vacation and sick time. All to save $750.

     And it was that $750 that put us in the black.

     If other nations would follow our lead in fiscal prudency then all nations of the world would soon be solvent.”

Doc Ballard, the proud Lord Mayor of Fernbrook Resort

     When asked what the nation would do with the hefty cash surplus His Royal Highness the Right Honourable Lord Mayor of Fernbrook Resort Doc Ballard barked, “Nuk-uh-lar Weapons! Ha ha ha ha,” the little dog mayor growled, “we’re coming for you Millgrove! And you too Carlisle!”