The Luring & Procuring of Children: the New Pastime at Fernbrook Resort Freelton?

The Luring & Procuring of Children: the New Pastime at Fernbrook Resort Freelton?

Rooster is not only Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s most intelligent resident he is also the tiny pariah nation’s most popular and personable personality. As a result he is the kind of chicken that can get away with murder. Not literally. At least not yet. But mischief. Malicious hen pecking lie filled gossip. Or, in this allegation, the luring and procuring of children.

But all are afraid to go up against this chicken because he is the great and powerful Rooster. And nothing is more important in this world than being popular. Though if you’re not popular, you can be by associating with those who are popular. Rooster. Basking in reflected glory is the proper terminology. Becoming one of his flock.

And in this latest installment of the Secrets of Fernbrook Resort the plot revolves around reinvigorated attempts at a pair of thefts – one of which utilizes children.

THE FIRST THEFT

The first allegation is an on again/off again theft that centers on a neighbor’s personal computer. And Rooster’s alleged plan is to use Fernbrook Resort minors to snare it. That’s right. Rooster and his flock are grooming children to rob Fernbrook Resort homes. Their plan is to get kids to go in through tiny home windows and pass stuff out to him and his featherbrained followers or else get kids inside to open the door to allow them access.

And how are they luring and procuring the kids.

Rooster is using his kids to befriend and lure other kids over to his home. Then the prospects are softened up and groomed. He has one girl and one boy picked out, the boy ha said ‘I can do it’. Evan though this is illegal, worse than being illegal it is sad. Just sad. Luring children. And he’s arranging for kids so he can claim plausible deniability. What is happening to Fernbrook Resort Freelton? Has it now become the perverted child luring and procuring capital of the western world?

But of course you can’t say anything about this message because at Fernbrook Resort they shoot the messenger.

But after the fact, if and when this does go down, a lot is going to be said. You don’t think the police use the internet?

THE SECOND THEFT         

And the allegation of second theft? For quite some time now Rooster has been wanting to get his neatly pedicured claws on a neighbor’s possessions. However he’s too chicken to go it alone. And his crew keeps dropping out. But, now, finally, this chicken has been bragging that he has a new flock willing to help him out. They just need the proper opportunity and it’s a go he’s loudly declared to all. A little too loudly unfortunately.    

Which is great.

Because we all know that the police will never catch someone as smart as Rooster. Anyone smart enough to procure children or announce intended crimes can certainly fool the police.  

The thing about Fernbrook Resort Freelton is that it is a very isolated nation. So isolated that thefts don’t happen by random chance, some passerby seizing an opportunity. At Fernbrook Resort Freelton thefts are perpetrated only by the people who reside there.

Which narrows the possible suspects for the police to about 120 families and their guests.

StatsCan tells us that the overwhelming majority of thefts are committed by males.

Which reduces the number of suspects for the police by about fifty percent.

Most thefts are committed by the eighteen to fifty-five year old male crowd.

Which reduces the number of suspects for the police by another forty percent (approx.) based on Fernbrook Resort’s male population.

Since Rooster has bragged about exactly what he plans to steal that means he has to be in sight of the property. For two reasons. One, at some time he has seen the merchandise enter the bounds of the property. Two, he has to know when the neighbor is home and not home, their schedule. So an absence can be quickly seized upon and utilized.

Which leaves perhaps twenty homes max based on a map of the land. So the thieves will be Male Fernbrook Resort nationals between the ages of eighteen and fifty-five, at least some of whom will have sightlines on the home and property they are casing. Any others involved will be associates of these.

But there is one other thing.

What Rooster and his flock plan on stealing is of large quantity that is heavy. Which means that they will need a larger vehicle.

Which further narrows the logical choices the police have as suspects.

And what they want to steal would create some noise in the taking. Homes here are jammed so closely together that even if you couldn’t see the theft you very likely would hear it. But here Rooster has some help as the average citizen of Fernbrook Resort does  not have a conscience. I.E. if they knew a theft was to occur or was occurring and they didn’t like the victim neighbor then they would just turn a blind eye (Evan if it involved the procuring of young children). 

So that just leaves the police.

Though if the police couldn’t solve it I’m sure some extremely friendly families in Woodbridge would.

Because whether you’re a knucklehead of a Rooster, the friend of a knucklehead Rooster or you just ride a knucklehead you well know that Rooster has been advised to keep his distance from this neighbor. But this knucklehead of a chicken simply refuses to do so. As a result he, his family and his followers will end up paying a price that they never knew was part of the cost.