The Great & Powerful Rooster Identifies Fernbrook Resort Freelton Thieves

The Great & Powerful Rooster Identifies Fernbrook Resort Freelton Thieves

"This wasn't supposed to happen," said a surprised Rooster.

The never-ending saga of earth’s stupidest nation (where the IQ points fell even further this week) got just a bit dumber with the revelation and identification of the nation’s longstanding thief.  

As a result it looks like the Fernbrook Resort Freelton crime wave is at an end. Thanks to the Great and Powerful Rooster. The culprits have been identified. And now it’s just a matter of formalities before they’re on their way out.

The culprit of course is that stupid jerk. You know the one that always gets mentioned here, that gross and stinky Neighbour Undesirable.

Yeah, all along it’s been that sneaky family that loaned the Fernbrook Resort Freelton Library hundreds and hundreds of books. Hundred of DVD’s. VHS tapes. CD’s and computer games. Board games. Toys. Stuffed animals. Also, three quarters of the bookshelves in the library are on loan from Neighbour Undesirable. And plants too. And a painting of a ship. And… and… and what a great cover!

What a great scam is what it really was. 

Rooster has been crowing that Neighbour Undesirable is the thief. 

Now the entire nation of Fernbrook Resort Freelton is watching Neighbour Undesirable and family. Just waiting for that one last vital piece of evidence before kicking the family out for good. And that evidence? To catch them stealing. Because no one has ever actually seen them steal a thing. But everyone in Fernbrook Resort Freelton already knows who the thieves are. Rooster said so. And Rooster’s word s law.

So a big thanks to the Great and Powerful Rooster for letting us know. Because it takes a thief to catch a thief. And the Great and Powerful Rooster knows that better than anyone. Because Rooster has stolen from Fernbrook Resort. What? You didn’t know? And why would He do such a thing?

“Because they’re too good for them,” He said referring to the books he removed. 

This is an exact quote from that Cock. 

A quote that shows exactly what he thinks of those He lives among. That He is smarter than they are. Which no one can disagree with. Or they better not if they know what’s good for them. 

Truly, the Great and Powerful Rooster has even bragged about removing books and selling them. More than once. Finally the manager of that time, who we’ll call “Jean” to hide his identity, told him to quit stealing. To stop it. And two other former employees have also identified the Great and Powerful rooster as stealing from the nation’s Library.

But in earth’s stupidest nation being caught stealing doesn’t make you a thief. 

It makes you Great and Powerful.

But only if you live in earth’s stupidest nation.

"I would never steal a book. Unless it was a book about hamburgers," said Waylon Smyth. "Or a book that kind of looked like a hamburger. Or it if just sorta smell like one... or..."