Fernbrook Resort Freelton Crowned Earth’s Dumbest Nation by the United Nations

Fernbrook Resort Freelton Crowned Earth’s Dumbest Nation by the United Nations

"Ha Ha Fernbridge, we beated you, we're more smarter," smiled an exultant American President Donald Trump.

The United Nations World Intelligence Quotient Index recently ranked earth’s nations by IQ and the tiny faeces friendly nation of Fernbrook Resort Freelton finished dead last. Placing behind Heligoland, the Leeward Islands, several imaginary nations including Never Never Land and Oz and, surprisingly the United States of America.

The UN meets to reveal World IQ Index.

Though this result came as a surprise to no one who could read. And, as most Fernbrook Resort Freelton natives seem unable to transform lines of ink or pencil set on paper into coherent thought, they’re not going to be surprised by this result either.

Unless some tells them.

No undesirable neighbours were permitted to take the test. But of the so called desirable class of neighbors:

Fernbrook Resort Freelton natives gather to celebrate their 'victory'?

Fully forty-one percent of the nation failed the ‘Your Name Here’ portion of the exam. Writing the word ‘Rooster’ instead of writing their own name.

Another seventeen percent did write their own name – but somehow managed to spell it wrong.

Though not every one in the nation is of low intelligence. A fully twenty-eight  percent scored perfect marks of one hundred percent. Displaying incredible intelligence. Though it wasn’t enough to drag the nation out of last place. Those who scored perfect marks answered the following question correctly:

A rooster is:

A) a barnyard animal

B) a stupid cock

C) a festive Armenian dance

D) our liege lord and sole reason for living

Selection B of course is the correct answer. Those who flunked the test selected D as their answer. After the test those who selected D got down on their knees and thanked Rooster as he stood a mere two inches away facing them.

The followers of Rooster await his arrival.

The reason for the poor scores is that The Great and Powerful Rooster is the kind of chicken who can lie to other chicken’s beaks. And when His Majesty is caught lying, his chicken like followers blame the subject of the lie for making Rooster look bad. To them a lie can only come from any other mouth other than Rooster’s beak.

Case in point?

A Rooster unapproved yard.

A Rooster approved yard.

One of Rooster’s many many lies is that a certain undesirable neighbour family does not take care of their lot. Yeah, Rooster and his friends force their dogs to crap on undesirable neighboring properties and then complain that the properties are a mess. Anyway whenever the followers of Rooster see undesirable neighbours doing yardwork they make sarcastic comments about how the property is finally being tidied up and how glad they are. Meanwhile their yards are award winning eyesores. Maybe they should rake the twig out of their own yard before they complain about the branches in their undesirable neighbours yards. Or, better yet, take a peek over the fence at The Great and Powerful Rooster’s property.           

But to the intelligentsia of Fernbrook Resort Freelton the results confirmed their worst suspicions – that the antics of Rooster and his many followers aren’t just dragging down home prices and house sales in the nation, they’re a severe drag on the nation’s IQ as well.