Fernbrook Resort Freeltons Selects Cowardly Lion From Wizard of Oz as National Spokesperson

Fernbrook Resort Freeltons Selects Cowardly Lion From Wizard of Oz as National Spokesperson

  

"Why did they have to pick me? Why couldn't they have picked someone else?

If you’re a frequent visitor to the Secrets of Fernbrook Resort Freelton there can be no doubt then that you are quite familiar with the many incidents of theft, vandalism, bullying, harassment faeces flinging and so forth that are increasingly frequent occurrences in this once law-abiding nation. 

Incidents which are of concern to some individuals in Fernbrook Resort.

And a concern of one individual in particular.

Though it’s not the awful incidents themselves that concern this one individual. They are quite pleased with them. Their many crimes. And their selves in fact. No. What concerns this one individual is that someone has been writing of the incidents. Keeping a public record. On the internet. And this record has so concerned the one individual that, in 2014, they approached the management of Fernbrook Resort Freelton and wanted a new rule instituted. 

And that rule?   

People are not allowed to write about the Grand Nation of Fernbrook Resort.

Seriously. That was their request. I’m not joking.

Of course management replied: “No.” Which infuriated that one individual. 

So what did that one individual do next?

They contacted Google (more than once), the repository where the previously mentioned record was being recorded. Asking Google to remove the record from the internet. “Why?” Google asked. Because they claimed that they were being unfairly maligned. Slander and so forth. Google responded by asking the simple question, “Is your name *******? Or is any one at Fernbrook Resort named *******?” Of course there isn’t. And so Google declined to take any action.

Which left legal action as the next recourse.

So the one individual dragged their significant other to a lawyer. On more than one occasion they’ve done this. Again, claiming slander and harassment and so forth. And, after listening to their tale of woe their counsel asked, “Why do you think this is about you?” Whereby the one individual replied, “I don’t think it’s about me its everyone else thinks it’s about me.”

Some pretty specious reasoning there. 

And the lawyer said, well, unless your name is *******… or ******* is your nickname… than it’s not slander. 

The lawyer also asked how they had determined the identity of the author. Of course the one individual had no proof other than that to say they knew it was an undesirable neighbour writing this and that everyone knows it’s them that’s doing it. The lawyer said unless this neighbour of undesirability had admitted to it, they had no proof of authorship. 

On another visit the one individual told the lawyer that good name of Fernbrook was being dragged through the mud (because we all know that there are no potholes, crime etc. in Fernbrook). But the lawyer said it was part of fair use. Nothing could be done. 

When the one individual was in the lawyer’s office he heard staff reading something from the internet about Fernbrook Resort’ and laughing loudly. Which made him unhappy. And more determined than ever to get rid of the Undesirable Neighbour. 

So, this one individual came up with a plan to reveal the identity of the author. And that is how this tale: The Most Horrible Pair of Boobs in Fernbrook Resort Freelton?(http://fernbrookresort.blogspot.ca/2015/06/the-most-horrible-pair-of-boobs-in.html) came about. Immediately after its publishing the one individual rushed to their lawyer and said, “Aha, we were slandered again… AND I have proof of identity!” after explain what they had done and a quick review of the post, the lawyer replied that this was not proof of anything. Then the lawyer got upset, defended Neighbour Undesirable and said, “listen, every time you do something the neighbour writes about it and then you run down here crying about them. If you left the neighbour alone the neighbour wouldn’t have anything to write about.”

Needless to say that didn’t go over well with the one individual.

So the next move was to get the neighbours roused and petition to get Neighbour Undesirable removed because they were, ummm, well, undesirable.

And the one individual did get some support. In fact one his puppets, a good ole boy, went over and asked neighbour Common Sense to help get Neighbour Undesirable evicted. Common Sense replied, “I don't mind them. Why don’t you guys just leave them alone?” And the one individual’s puppet, his mickey mouse attempt ruined, walked away in tears.

(You know what I think? I think if this mickey mouse puppet was offended by Neighbour Undesirable than they should confront them and say, “Hey, would you stop doing that offensive thing? It offends me and my significant other.” Or they could just walk over and beat the crap out of Neighbour Undesirable (who is a wimp and a pussy by the way). Anything other, such as backstabbing, shows this mickey mouse individual to be a gutless coward.)   

This one individual has also approached on-site management (and asked their puppets to do the same) to say that Fernbrook is being slandered. Trying to manipulate the manager to do something. To no avail so far. The one individual claimed that Neighbour Undesirable was tossing dog faeces into the pavilion. Allegedly the manager replied, “well, if you’d clean up after your dog they’re be no faeces for them to toss – would there?” Which made the one individual run off in tears. 

With these plans shattered the one individual decided to conduct a new multi-pronged campaign. Part of the plan was the significant other cosying up and playing friendly to other neighbours so that they could be easily manipulated. This worked with one appauling recruit in particular. Being of questionable intelligence I don’t blame the appauling recruit. In fact the appauling recruit is so appauling that he has loudly threatened to, “kick Neighbour Undesirable’s ass.” On more than one occasion he has been heard to publicly exclaim this. But the appauling puppet has never followed through on the threat. I can only guess that he’s a coward. Otherwise he would have kicked that pussy wimp Neighbour Undesirable’s ass. Or maybe he’s just not smart enough to find the ass part of the human anatomy in order that it may be suitably kicked. Probably both.   

And of course there are the theft allegations against Neighbour Undesirable. No one has actually seen the undesirable steal anything but they have been convicted and found guilty. With no evidence ever presented. And now every eye is on the land waiting to catch the thief and get them tossed. Conversely, an admitted thief is the originating and first accuser of Neighbour Undesirable. If I had proof a person was stealing than I would confront them and ask them to stop.

Unfortnately, at Fernbrook Resort, the only proof you’ll find is on the label of a half empty liquor bottle.