Ghostly Phone Calls of Unknown Origin Rattle Fernbrook Resort Residents

Ghostly Phone Calls of Unknown Origin Rattle Fernbrook Resort Residents

Are the ghosts of chickens past infesting Fernbrook Resort Freelton's lines of communication?

“The calls are eerie,” said Nelly Nervousbladder, “I pick up the phone, I say hello, but no one replies. Again and again this happens.”

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“Three times a week my phone rings in the early morning hours, two or three rings, then just stops,” said Arvin Awakenedearly.   

“No person would do this,” said a shaken Shelby Soiledpants, “it has to be a ghost. A G… G… G… GHOST!” he said as he emptied his bladder into his adult strength diapers.

In fact the problem has gotten so severe of late that Fernbrook Resort Freelton residents pooled their money and called Ghostbusters.

Unfortunately for them the Ghostbusters never returned their call. That’s because Ghostbusters is actually a team of fictional characters. And not a trio of real live specter fighting superheroes as Fernbrook Resort residents had been led to believe by the movie of the same name.

Wait a sec... I thought Ghostbusters weren't real?

So, with no where else to turn, they called the matron of telephone lines one Ma Bell.

“I think you have an infestation of chickens,” Ma Bell said when asked about the causative factor behind of the calls.”

“Ghost chickens?” asked Elizabeth Einstein nervously.

“Yeah, that‘s right,” agreed Ma Bell sarcastically, “the ghosts of chickens past are haunting Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s phone lines and phoning people at 3:15 in the afternoon and hanging up. And calling in the early AM hours. No Einstein, its chickens.”

Fernbrook Resort most intellectually respected couple - the Einsteins.

“But chickens don’t have an opposable thumb. Or an index finger. So there’s no way that a chicken could even hold a phone… let alone dial a phone.” Said Elsinore Einstein, Elizabeth’s brother and husband. “So you’re wrong there.”

“Listen you bunch of Einsteins,” shouted Ma Bell, “It’s people. People are calling and hanging up. Not real chickens.”

“But you just said it was chickens,” said a confused Illana Illogical.

“Oh, for the love of all that is good and holy.” Screamed an exasperated Ma Bell, “Its people. Scared little people who act with the brains and courage of a chicken. When a person acts like a chicken than you refer to them as chickens. Though in this case I think I’m insulting chickens by saying Fernbrook Resort Freelton residents are as smart… or as brave… as a chicken. So maybe it is people. Real live people.  NOT GHOSTS!”

A ghost chicken pecking around for a quarter to make a call?

“Ouch,” said Illana Illogical as she scratched her head. “I better take some medicine. People aren’t supposed to use logic around me. My doctor said so. That’s what makes my head hurt.”

“Logic gives me a rash,” chimed in Ralph Redskin. “My doctor gave me a placebo and soon I’ll be all better. Hey, after we take our medicine do you want to go play in traffic?”

“But when you called us Einsteins I thought that meant that we were right. Because Einstein was smart. Probably as smart as us even. He invented gravity. And the fig newton,” said Illana Illogical.

 

“It was Isaac Newton that invented the Fig Newton,” said Ralph Redskin, “not Albert Einstein.”

‘‘Ouch,” said Illana Illogical as she began scratching her head again. “I think I need more medicine.”

A noticeably perturbed Ma Bell puts a call block on Fernbrook Resort Freelton.