Fernbrook Resort Freelton Takes Umbrage to United Nations World Intelligence Quotient Index Results

Fernbrook Resort Freelton Takes Umbrage to United Nations World Intelligence Quotient Index Results

Are the willfully blind leading the willfully stupid of Fernbrook Resort Freelton?

“Well I for one don’t take umbrage,” said Velma Vocabulary, “it’s just that the results really upset me and I resent them.”

                                              

"Ha ha, we beat Millgrove," said Bernice Braintrust.

Truly the blood sucking midge infested nation of Fernbrook Resort Freelton seems entirely flummoxed by the results. And by flummoxed it is meant that they don’t quite understand them.

Said Bernice Braintrust, “Fernbrook Resort may have finished last place in the entire world but we still beat Millgrove.”

“Yeah! And we’re also smarter than all those Undesirable Neighbours,” added Walter Oneupmansship, “Because if we weren’t smarter than them than how would we know that they’re stealing.”

According to multiple claims out of Fernbrook Resort Freelton one certain Undesirable Neighbour has been stealing everything that has been nailed down. And then returning to take the nail. Yet even though everyone in the nation knows that the Undesirable Neighbour family has been stealing… no one has actually seen them steal any thing.

       

This belief persists even though The Great and Powerful Rooster himself has admitted to removing resources from the Fernbrook Resort library. And then selling them for His own personal gain. Yet He is not considered to be a thief.

“No one who steals would admit it,” Fernbrook’s DENSA association president decided, “therefore Rooster can’t be stealing.”

Fernbrook's DENSA President.

Additionally, Rooster was asked not to steal from the library by previous management. Or, if he was to continue stealing, not to go around bragging about it.

And when that bank repossessed A-Frame on Fantasy Lane was allegedly emptied of its contents by a Fernbrook Resort Freelton company truck in July of 2016 – in broad daylight and in full view of Fernbrook’s populace – not one resident considered that to be theft. Or the participants to be thieves.    

Carrie Cheatcode: 'The word of honest thieves is to be distrusted."

“Because we love the staff here… and no one knew the neighbour who was being nicked… or likes the bank that was being burgled. So it doesn’t count as stealing,” confirmed Carrie Cheatcode. “It’s only stealing if we don’t like the person. Or if we want to blame innocent people to keep ourselves and our friends from being scrutinized.”

 

What about when a gentleman passes away in a hotel room from a congestive heart disorder? A gentleman who carried large sums of cash with him. And then his wallet mysteriously goes missing. So missing that three cars filled with cops couldn’t find it. Despite pulling apart the hotel room for hours. Then, after the police depart, the wallet mysteriously turns up in a pillowcase in that same room. Perhaps a little bit lighter in the cash department. It doesn’t take a Greek Oracle to tell the constabulary what happened.

“I think that Undesirable Neighbour was the one who was responsible for whatever it was that may or may not have happened,” stated Sidney Statement, “no one saw the Undesirable Neighbours in that general area so without a doubt it was them that did whatever anyone says may have happened. And if someone did die of congestive heart failure then Neighbour undesirable caused that too. In fact I think my heart might be congesting right now. Way to go you gross smelly and stupid undesirable neighbour.”

And what about all those allegedly occupied Hotel Rooms with no paperwork to show that they were being occupied? Despite the presence of people in those rooms. And, allegedly, no receivables noted in the books. Where did the cash suddenly come from to pay from those allegedly occupied rooms? A deceased man’s wallet?

“Well, even if anything was stolen, it was months of alleged unpaid use of hotel rooms from a company that has underfunded the nation into a pothole strewn, pipe bursting pit of disappointed retirement dreams. So they’re just getting what they deserve. If we liked the ownership than it would have been theft,” remarked Olivia Looktheotherway.

"Records are for losers... I use CD's."

In fact why did Fernbrook Resort Freelton just suddenly stop accepting cash? Did the books and records suddenly become unbalanced with no explanation?

“Well, if the books are unbalanced then maybe they could get some other books from the Fernbrook library to balance them – if Neighbour Undesirable would please quit stealing them. But I don’t know about records, I thought everybody listened to CD’s these days,” barked Bernard Behindthetimes.

And what about the story about a Great and Powerful Rooster who got the corporate keys to every door in the nation from a former employee who was never asked to return their keys?

"Rooster is the only good thing about Fernbrook Resort," said Rooster's acolyte Rene Roosterlover.                                                                                               "Anyone disses the Roost and I will kick their ass."

“But that’s just Rooster,” said Rene Roosterlover, “Everybody loves Rooster so He can do whatever he wants. I love Rooster. I sure wish I could get His autograph. Maybe He would even permit me to massage His posterior regions with my pointy beaklike appendage.”   

So with all this damning information it makes you wonder how the incredibly watched and scrutinized is neighbour undesirable masterminding all these crimes. Without getting caught. Or even being seen in the general vicinity.

Is the Neighbour Undesirable family a family of Master criminals?

Or are a large number of Fernbrook Resort citizens so dumb that they can’t see the truth? So dumb that you can tell them the truth, point them to the truth and then show them the truth – and yet they still can’t see the truth.

So you be the judge why Fernbrook Resort Freelton finished last in United Nations World Intelligence Quotient Index.