Fernbrook Resort Freelton Crimes Rates Soaring (and will Soar Higher when an Undesirable Neighbour gets Gored)

Fernbrook Resort Freelton Crimes Rates Soaring (and will Soar Higher when an Undesirable Neighbour gets Gored)

Every day the Great and Powerful Rooster adds to His flock of chickens.

Frequent readers of the Secrets of Fernbrook Resort Freelton will remember reading A Statistical Representation of Crime Loci in Fernbrook Resort Freelton (http://fernbrookresort.blogspot.ca/2016/10/a-statistical-representation-of-crime_14.html)

And now it’s time for an update.

The most prevalent crimes in the dandelion smoking nation of Fernbrook Resort Freelton are still theft and vandalism. Crime, vandalism by the far most common, falls into two broad categories: Bureaucratic or Personal.

BUREAUCRATIC CRIME

Bureaucratic Crime is any crime against Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s rulers. Most of these crimes are being blamed on the Undesirable Neighour family of Fernbrook Resort. By the nation’s citizens. Without any shred of proof. In one instance a locked room was robbed of its valuables. No doubt it was the Undesirables that did it.

"Look into my eye and I can bend you to my will," claimed the little cock.

Coincidentally, the Great and Powerful Rooster is rumoured to have in his possession a set of keys to the state. Acquired from a former employee of the state it is said when the Civil Service did not ask for their return.

It was also rumoured that the Great and Powerful Rooster was once being considered for the top job in the Fernbrook Nation. But was turned down. 

And is still miffed. And that may account for at least some of the vandalism. He has an axe to grind. And He’s taking it out on assets of the bureaucracy that rejected him.

PERSONAL CRIME

Now Personal Crime is any crime against an individual resident of Fernbrook Resort Freelton.

Coincidentally over ninety percent of personal crime occurs on property that faces or abuts that of the Great and Powerful Rooster. Yet neither Rooster nor Rooster’s minions ever suffer from criminal acts. No. Only the property of Undesirable Neighbours or state property suffers.

Case in point, just the other night cameras captured the Forces of Chicken knocking down a sign on the property of the Undesirable Neighbours. In the process they also broke part of the fence rail supporting the sign. And the microphone captures him saying “Shit. I broke it.”       

But it seems strange that a relationship can be drawn between the Great and Powerful Rooster and criminal acts committed in Fernbrook Resort Freelton yet the fingers point anywhere but at His Highness.

"I cannot tell a lie, a Great and Powerful Rooster ordered me to do it because I'm not man enough to stand up to a chicken!"

FUTURE CRIME

And that’s really the point of this whole write up. Rooster has just made a pact with Fernbrook Resort Freelton’s Phony Boy Scout.

And an Undesirable Neighbour is to be gorEd as a result.

For years the Great and Powerful Rooster has been intent on robbing a certain Undesirable Neighbour. In addition to the harassment etc that He has carried out. And Phony Scout has finally agreed to help. 

When Phony sees the Undesirables drive past the end of their street in the very early morning hours Phony will immediately contact Rooster. Perhaps by phone. Maybe a quick drive. To let him know the coast is clear. Then Rooster can go over and steal and vandalize til His Chicken Liver is content. (I would say heart but this is a Rooster that has none.)

So an Undeisrable Neighbour may soon get gored. And I don’t think putting in a prayer to Saint Joan would be of much help. Now a saint would never condone such an act. Nor could a saint stop it.

 

Can an intercession from Saint Joan stop an Undesirable Neighbour from being gored?

And whether this will go down as I planned… or not… I don’t know.

But it’s the thought that counts.

Truly only the Shadow truly knows what evil lurks in the livers of chickens.    

"HEY!, I don't know what you've heard but I only deal with people. PEOPLE!," said an upset Shadow.