International Pothole Thieves Target Tiny Nation of Fernbrook Resort Freelton

International Pothole Thieves Target Tiny Nation of Fernbrook Resort Freelton

A gang of International pothole thieves ransacked the tiny canine ruled nation of Fernbrook Resort Freelton this week, plundering the nation of one of its most precious and treasured landmarks, the pothole.
 


Fernbrook Resort main highway now devoid of potholes 

A saddened Amanda Hugnkis

Sniffled Amanda Hugnkis, "Wherever are we going to go to bathe? Where will our children play? Who would do such a thing?"

Moaned Cornelius Blather, "I’ve parked my car in the same pothole for over twenty years and now where am I supposed to park? Some sort of… of… parking space?" he shuddered sadly.



Family Photo of Blather's
Treasured Parking Pothole 

Distraught Fernbrook Resort
Resident Cornelius Blather

  
"It’s true," whispered Doc Ballard the Lord Mayor of Fernbrook Resort sadly, "they’re gone. All Gone. This is truly a sad day for our nation... the inhumanity... we’re going to have to cancel the 22^nd Pothole Olympics which were scheduled to open next month… this will be a disaster for our nation’s fragile economy."

Official Logo of the 22nd Pothole Olympics

In a related bit of news, Chester Williams won his appeal regarding his recent job dismissal and has been reappointed as the head of Fernbrook Resort’s Pothole Preservation Bureau.

"Damn communists... This wouldn’t have happened on my watch," screamed an irate Chester Williams, "but I do promise you this, I am going to bring back every single last one of these potholes or my name isn’t Esther Williams."

A noticeably irate Chester Williams

When it was pointed out that his name was actually Chester we were told to "Shut your friggin’ piehole commie!"

And when asked how he planned to return the potholes Williams replied, "Tracking devices. Previously we had installed tracking devices in each and every one of our nation’s many thousands of potholes. And I am going to track them to where they’re sold, on the black markets of Morocco, Russia, Millgrove… wherever… and bring them back. By next spring I promise you each and every pothole will have been returned to it’s rightful place bigger and better than ever. And maybe I’ll install some new ones as well!"

Chester Williams for Lord Mayor anyone?