Saturday, July 26, 2014

At Fernbrook Resort, Freelton… Fecal Matter Keeps Falling on My Head…

At Fernbrook Resort, Freelton… Fecal Matter Keeps Falling on My Head…

“Fecal matter keeps fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red
Crying's not for me
Cause I ain't gonna stop the fecal matter by complaining”

(lyrics from ‘Fecal Matter Keeps Falling on My Head’ by B.J. Stool)

Well, I was up on the roof sweeping off the accumulated detritus and what did a find – a fair sized lump of fecal matter. Quite desiccated. But as the roof had been cleaned off many times previously there’s not much doubt where it came from.

NO!

I know what you’re thinking and it’s not aliens. Unless the aliens are Canis lupus familiaris in form and their bodies excrete little grey logs of coprolite.

That’s right… desiccated feces that decorate rooftops can only be a gift of the god’s. Just like rain and snow and sleet. I mean if it can rain cats and dogs (and we step in poodles) then can their feces be far behind? No. So, logically, it had to happen. Their feces had to fall from the sky. Now the origin of the varied ASSortment of little chocolatey logs I keep discovering all over the property make sense. My World is in perfect harmony and order and I can move on now that one of life’s greatest mysteries has been answered.

Cock-a-doodle-thank-you!

Fecal rain, fecal rain
Fecal rain, fecal rain
I only want to see you laughing in the fecal rain

(lyrics from ‘Fecal Rain’ by the Prince of Poo)

No comments:

Post a Comment