Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Gangs of Fernbrook Resort Freelton (directed by Martin Scorsese?) Murder? Robbery? And More?

Gangs of Fernbrook Resort Freelton (directed by Martin Scorsese?) Murder? Robberies? And More?

We never seem to question what happens in a dream. And then we wake up and it’s like… say what? So if this dream doesn’t make sense then don’t shoot the dreamer. You can leave that task to the gangs of Fernbrook Resort  

Now, in the dream the Gangs of Fernbrook Resort have momentarily put a murder for hire plot on the backburner in favour of a series of robberies.

The targets?

The first is a neighbor’s garden shed. One of those little deals that’s barely big enough to fit a lawn mower. Apparently the shed had something inside that attracted Rooster’s attention (something bright and shiny like the Lost Ark of the Covenant perhaps) so he wants it.

Of course Rooster would not be involved in the undertaking. Nope. Like always Rooster arranges for others to do his dirty work. Rooster’s plan is to be far away if and when the Joy-less Mickey mouse operation takes place. So that he has an airtight alibi. But would that really fool the police? Police may be a lot of things but dumb isn’t one of them.

So (still dreaming here) Rooster’s plan is to find someone locally hAndy to do the misdeed. And what might a hAndyman do with the criminal proceeds? A hAndyman mike err might buy something cheap from the local Tiffany store to impress his girl. Or a hAndyman mike err might take a trip to Cameron (in Africa). Third class of course, because unless that garden shed has gold in there you’re not going first class. Unless you’re traveling by paddy wagon to the local police station.

Weird I know but that’s a dream.

Target two in the dream is a neighbor with a computer.

Yeah, that’s right, allegedly Rooster wanted to inconvenience a neighbor by stealing their computer. Unfortunately the guy is a hermit and a crab who never leaves his trailer so the plan here is to wait until he goes to the clubhouse to take his monthly shower then walk in and grab the computer.

Wow. That’s even better planned then the big Brink’s job.

Question, So what do you do when you lose your computer? You go to the store, purchase a replacement and plug it in. Total time inconvenienced? A couple hours. And your insurance company cuts you a cheque for your loss.

Of course (still dreaming) Rooster wouldn’t be involved in this. Other than to be the lookout chicken. Rooster always suggests to others the deeds he wants done. It gives him plausible deniability. That’ll sure fool the police. And of course a joyless Mickey mouse arranged operation like this wouldn’t involve the Disney character either. Nope. He wants to keep his paws clean too. It would take someone hAndy to do a job like this. Someone (or ones who mike err might want to take a trip to Cameron (in Africa).

Now here’s something else you need to know. In the dream Fernbrook Resort is an isolated and private community of about 100 (or so) families. Any strangers roaming around are quickly noticed because everyone knows every other one and it’s not a place you arrive at by accident. As well, about half of the community is of retirement age or older. And another quarter of the folks are approaching retirement. Which means that when the robbery takes place, the police know that the perpetrator is likely a resident (or friend of a resident) who is younger and lives in close proximity to the site of the crime.

Pretty weird dream. Right?

Back in reality now. And in reality police are not stupid.

So Rooster might get away with his part in this Mickey mouse operation unless his hAndy friend rats him out. You know the friend I mean, the one who mike err might go to Cameron (in Africa).  

Don’t worry, I’m sure that your kids will visit you in jail.

Can you say cock-a-doodle two to four years with time off for good behavior?

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