Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Fernbrook Resort of Freelton – Proudly Dog Feces Flinging Free for Forty-Eight Hours

Fernbrook Resort of Freelton – Proudly Dog Feces Flinging Free for Forty-Eight Hours

Guess What? It’s been a little over two days since fresh dog feces has been flung onto the property. And no desiccated or dehydrated feces either.

Maybe the canines around here are completely cleaned out.

I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that their owner(s) were force feeding them excess amounts of food in order to produce such copious amounts of poo (much in the way a French Rooster forces feeds a goose in order to produce an enlarged liver for the production of pate). And the mutts just couldn’t take it any more. They were completely popped out (if you'll pardon the pun). What a relief.

Anyway, I’m phoning those record breaking recorders at Guiness to let them know a record has been set under the category of Dog Feces Flinging Free at Fernbrook Resort. It's in excess of forty-eight hours now. I’m betting that they’ll be impressed. Mighty impressed.

Of course they’ll probably want proof, them being well aware of Fernbrook Resort’s worldwide reputation as a center for the flinging of dog feces. What with that festival they have after all. And those eye catching t-shirts "My parents flung feces at Freelton's Fernbrook Resort and all they got me was this lousy shirt!"

The one problem is… is that it’s easy to prove something that happens… but how do you prove that something did not happen? I.e. no dog feces was flung.

I'll keep you posted.

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