Sunday, July 13, 2014

More Fresh Dog Feces From a Secret Admirer at Fernbrook Resort, Freelton

Got up this morning, checked the yard after a heavy rainfall, and found, you guessed it, another log of fresh (albeit very soggy) dog feces.

I wonder… do we have a secret admirer? Someone who’s trying to profess their admiration and impress us with presents before they announce their presence? Because I got to tell you Secret Admirer if you’re reading this – dog feces is not an aphrodisiac. Why not try a nice note? Some flowers? Or maybe some chocolates… err… actually you can hold off on the chocolatey treats... at least until we get to know you better.

And if you’re not a secret admirer? Then perhaps you’re a rooster with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and an axe to grind… who needs to grow up. Try it! Growing up is not so tough once you get started.

Flinging dog feces (whether fresh or desiccated) onto the lawns of others simply will not solve the problems that you have.    

In the future, if you or Rhode Island Red have issues with your neighbors, here's a thought... why not invite the object of your rage over for a microwaved bowl of piping hot Purina Instant Rooster Chow (™) to discuss your differences?

That’s what adults do. That’s what women do. That’s what men do.

Until you do that, you’ll always be a chicken you silly cluck!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment