Garbage filled residences & Squawking Chickens at Fernbrook Resort Freelton?

Of course you know that the upper class trailer park Fernbrook Resort of Freelton has been featured on Lifestyles of the Vulgar and the Unmannerly where a certain Rhode Island Red can be seen wearing several outfits purchased from Barnum & Bailey’s colourful ‘Circus Clown Couture’ clothing line (available at Dollar Store’s everywhere while supplies last).

Well, that very same Rhode Island Red of a resident has been clucking non-stop to all the Fernbrook Resort hens that at least one of her neighbors is filling their trailer to overflowing with garbage. Her constant high-pitched gabbling, which sets neighborhood dogs to barking and car alarms blaring, has self-righteously revealed that the neighbors in question not only never throw out any trash BUT that they also cull through the neighbor’s refuse on Garbage Eve and Garbage Day. Picking through their valuable waste and hauling it to their trailer home for permanent storage.

As a result of this unproven allegation, which is believed by many of the roasters of Fernbrook Resort, Rhode Island Red and her pudgy metrosexual rooster of a mate (who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder) are trying to rule the henhouse and have the alleged offenders evicted from exclusive Fernbrook Resort.

“They’re out of here.’ Crows metrosexual rooster boy every morning at the crack of dawn.

“What an embarrassment they are,” clucks Rhode Island Red whenever she sobers up from a binge. “We can’t have those kind of people here! Garbage pickers!! Really!!! Tres embarrassing!!!!”

The funny thing is… is that Rhode Island Red and Rooster Boy do some dumpster diving themselves. Yup. It’s true. And on one dumpster dive they picked up so much trash to bring home that they ordered their little baby chicks out of their sporty hen-mobile and told them they had to walk home. There wasn’t room enough for their fledglings and the trash.

So out the car doors the little chicks flew.

Can you imagine that?

Ordering your kids out of the car because you want to haul some garbage back to your double-wide mansion. Great job! No doubt Bill Cosby will be using a sound parenting tip like that as an example in his next book.

I guess what’s good for the goose isn’t necessarily good for the gander. I.e. when Rhode Island Red and Rooster Boy garbage pick it’s perfectly acceptable. However when anyone else does it – well let’s just say it’s fowl… errr foul.  

And the moral of the story… well, it’s not really a moral, but maybe this family is lucky that they’re being stalked for eviction by the classless fowls of Freelton’s Fernbrook Resort – would you really want to live next to a family who valued trash more than their kids?

Cock-a-doodle-NO!