Thefts and Arrangements for Murder at Fernbrook Resort Freelton?

Well, apparently some neighbors took pity on the poor impoverished state of Fernbrook Resort’s once legendary library and decided to make some donations. Donating boxes of books, VHS tapes, CD’s, DVD’s, magazines and more. Hundreds of materials all totaled.

Big mistake. Why?

Somehow the vast majority of the materials got lost on the way to the library. The staff received the books. But they rarely deposited the donated materials onto the library shelves.

What kind of persons would steal books (and CD’s and DVD’s and VHS tapes and…) donated to a library?

Well, likely it’s not a person at all but a big chicken. A giant a rooster with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Who goes home to the family after a hard day of pilfering from an unguarded library and crows loudly the moment he enters the coop, “I just snagged ‘Water for Elephants’ today” or “Guess who just stole forty issues of Horizon Canada magazine?”

To which his hen clucks, “O! My brave rooster (with Narcissistic Personality Disorder), you’re so smart and daring!! Let me microwave you some Purina Instant Rooster Chow and you can sit down and tell me how so very clever you are!”

Clever. Right. Library materials are free. So stealing from a library is the ultimate in stupid. Who steals something that is free? DOH! This is a pair that won’t be applying to MENSA any time soon.

And how did it become known that the materials were stolen and not merely out on loan? This is where evidence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder comes into play. It is alleged that in one of his explanations for his thefts that rooster bragged, “Books like these are too good for the type of people that live here [a trailer park]”. It is also alleged that rooster crowed loudly to many of his neighbors, “the donors are stupid and should be selling the books instead of donating them.” And finally it is alleged that rooster bragged to all who would listen that he was taking the donated materials from the library and selling them. His hen did ask rooster to stop crowing to everyone about his alleged misdeeds. Kind of like closing the hen house door after the chickens have escaped that.

But statements and actions such as rooster’s are consistent with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Slighting others. Thinking that your better than others. Bragging about crimes because you’re too smart to be arrested. As is openly soliciting the murder of Farmer Fern Brook. But of course because you’re so much smarter then everyone else you would never be caught. Though if you want any joy in your plans then perhaps you shouldn’t make it a Mickey mouse operation.

See you on the News at 11:00 you silly cluck!